And Then There Was Vince

Chapter 28: Do I Or Don't I?

When I saw him the next evening, he looked lovely. He was wearing a tan sweater which was completely uncharacteristic, but looked exceptionally good on his frame nonetheless. He had a fire burning in the fireplace, and the rooms were filled with all sorts of fall flavors. His parents must have had just enough time to decorate before they left on their trip. 

    "So I might have lied a little bit to you," He said, leading me into the kitchen and serving me plain water with ice. "My parents aren't coming back until the night before Thanksgiving. There's no fancy cheeses here, but I did order a pizza."

    "Ok, Eric," I teased.

    Maybe that had been a little cruel without intention. He looked somewhat hurt by the comment, but took it in stride.

    "Ok, Ashley," He returned. 

    "Touche."

    We picked at greasy pizza and chatted until nearing 7 o'clock, when he led me upstairs.

    "Do you wanna see the rest of what I've been working on?" He asked, handing his laptop to me as we perched on the edge of his bed. 

    I agreed enthusiastically, fully expecting to dive into a continuation of what I'd been reading last time. But this was something different. 

    It was a poem. 

    There was line after line of metaphor, comparing a girl to fire, the water, the sun, the moon. It was unbelievably sweet but also unbelievably corny. I finished it with the tiniest of a bashful smirk on my face. 

    "It's about you, you know," He said, moving closer, gently taking the tech from my hands and placing it out of reach on his bedside table. 

    "I figured," I said, breathlessly.

    It took me a bit to process what happened next. Everything was occurring so quickly. One minute we were kissing, and the next he was pushing me down. My mind could hardly process the greed of it. Greedy hands, greedy lips, greedy movements. He was trying to tug at my shirt when my head finally caught up with the moment. 

    "What are you doing?" I asked, stopping him dead in his tracks.  

    "I...Uh...You know...Don't you want to?" He stuttered, pulling back to sit on his knees, a deep crimson wave crashing over his face. 

    I pushed myself up into a seated position. 

    "N...Not yet," I said, breaking eye contact and turning away from him, my cheeks burning and also a deep red. "I, I actually think I'm gonna go now."

    He accepted the rejection with grace, but not without a thousand reassurances. It wasn't him, but even I knew that's what women always said. 

    What was it actually?

    I had wanted to. I knew it had been less than six months since I'd gotten to know him, and we were still just in high school after all. I knew of all the risks that it came with. I convinced myself that I wasn't ready, but maybe I was just scared.  

    i was scared of being vulnerable. I was scared of the word getting out. I was scared of being exactly what the rumors had named me. 

    Either way, he kept a respectable distance after that, which was most definitely to my disappointment.