And Then There Was Vince

Chapter 32: Acquiescence

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know how to behave. I felt hurt. I felt angry. I felt betrayed. I felt overwhelmingly and unattractively jealous.

I wrapped myself up in a blanket cocoon every day after school, hoping to transform into something. I napped. I cried. I was mean to my mother. I didn't speak to anyone.

I couldn't even listen to music. My entire collection was largely haunted now, even the Kpop.

I just wanted the year, the Snowflake, and my high school career to be over.

"Mind if I join you?"

Intense deja vu came over me when Liam got my attention this way one day at lunch. No matter what day of the week it was, I now sat alone. I didn't have Ashley. I didn't even want to have Ashley. I most certainly didn't have Vince. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, and he seemed more or less content to let me go.

"Yes, that'd be horrible," I teased, chancing a smile at the only person with which I still managed to be on good terms.

"Cool, prepare to suffer then," he accepted.

I think someone has actually eaten the refried beans before," was my intellectual contribution to conversation. The tasteless blob stuck to my utensils like glue.

"Re-gurgitated, not refried," he attempted.

We made a few similar jokes about the food offerings, and it felt like we were falling into a small talk trap just short of complaining about the weather. Eventually, he caved.

"So what's the deal with all this now?" He inquired, making a gesture across the table at me.

"This?" I asked, pointing to myself. "Me?"

"You know what I mean," he admonished. "You're flipping out on everyone, always sitting alone, and you have this really mopey aura about you. What's eating you?"

I was really puzzled on how to answer, and tried to tiptoe around the truth the best that I could.

"I guess I realized I just don't like the majority of my 'friends'," I admitted with air quotes, sounding a bit too harsh. "On one side I was trying to stay close to miserable, terrible human beings, and on the other, to really cool and relatable, nice people. But still, they all ended up doing something shitty to me, or making decisions that I didn't understand. It's always just me who ends up getting hurt by it, and I think I'd rather just be alone now than have to continuously deal with all of that."

"Gee, and where do I fall on that spectrum?" He wondered, looking a bit put out.

"Obviously in the minority. A neutral middle-ground, if you will."

"Got it," he joked. "So I'm not quite a terrible human being, but I'm also not a cool, relatable and nice one."

"Shut up," I snorted. "You know what I meant."

"Well if it counts for anything, you're also my neutral middle. I can't stand 90% of these fuckers."

I burst out laughing. Somehow, this little moment of understanding lifted the weight off of my shoulders. It was always like that with him.

"Have you bought your Snowflake ticket yet?" He asked. "The dance is in less than two weeks, and Ashley tells me you've been stingy about it."

"Nah," I confessed. "I don't think I'll get one either."
I had kind of lost interest in the entire concept.

"Well," he began, "if you do change your mind, I still have an extra ticket you can have, no strings attached."

I pondered this for a moment.

"You know what?" I said. "Fuck it, let's just go together."

It was his turn to laugh.

"The way you said that makes it sound like going with me will be a chore."

"Literally the hardest thing I'll ever do," I teased.

And we kept that mood up until the bell rang.