Secret Kisses

Secret Kisses Part 20

20.

It was 6pm and i was in my dorm room. I sat at the foot of my bed. I couldn't make myself move. I didn't know if i was being irrational, but i just couldn't stand to look at Sebastian anymore. Not right now. I just needed time to think on my own and be so rushed.

I sat on my bed for what seemed like forever. The silence was killing me so i turned on the radio to a random station. I barely used the radio. A song started to play. i hadn't heard it before but i like it. The vocalist was singing "when you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope gives you hell." i turned it up louder and layed on my bed. I wonder when the numbness would fade away.

it was already 7pm. i sat at my dresser and picked up my eyeliner i barely used. I played with it in my fingers. Taking of the cap, i lined my eyes thick with eyeliner. i attempted to do my makeup how Jasmine taught me. i did a dark smokey eye. I applied a thin coat of lip gloss and blush. i didn't know why i was getting all dolled up, but i felt better doing it. i then took my hair out of my bun. My hair fell to my mid back. I bunched up part of my hair in the front and began to snip bangs straight across. I learned how to cut bangs from my magazine and got good at it over time. I used to always cut my own hair and it came out decent. i brushed my hair, then parted it evenly. With the sharp siscors, i began to cut my hair. More and more of my hair fell to the floor.

My hair was now to my shoulder. i managed to layer the front. i looked at my self in the mirror. i looked completely different.  i cleaned up the hair and got dressed. i slipped on a black dress and black heels. I didn't know where i was going, but i needed to get out.

i found my self at the mall. I walked around the busy mall, going into numerous stores. i noticed a lot of guys were staring at me. it felt weird at first, but then i grew used to it. I bought clothes and black hair color and hair bleach. i walked out of the mall with a ton of shopping bags. I stared at the ground as i walked toward my car. Someone hit me and i dropped some of my shoping bags. "i'm so-" i looked up and found Sebastian staring at me in shock. "i got it." i said. and began to pick up my bags. "Jayla? is that you? you look so different." he said. He looked so sad after. i then recalled i didn't show up at the beach. " yea." i said. i looked down. i didn't want to look at him. "Can we talk?" he said. "No. i have to go." i said and began to walk away but his hand held my arm. "What is it Sebastian. i have nothing to say to you." i said. i didn't turn around. "Jayla. Please hear me out." he said. "No. Just give me time to breathe and think." i snapped. i couldn't take it. i was tired of this. he let go of my arm and i continued walking. i didn't look back, but i could feel him staring after me.

Once i got back to my dorm, began to color my hair black. I waited till the color was set in and rinsed it off. The black hair made my face paler. Once my hair was completely dry. i put on the streaking cap and began to tug hair through the holes and bleached them blonde. I waited for the color to set and rinsed it. I looked so different and i liked it.

i was still a little annoyed from my meeting with Sebastian. i didn't think i couldnt handle seeing him again. it was hard. When i saw him, i didn't feel sad, i felt angry. I didn't understand this feeling. It was all new to me. I didn't believe in second chances. i gave so many of them in high school and i always ended up getting burned. i wasn't going to let that happen again.

I sighed and fell asleep on my bed. I had a dream...

[DREAM]

i was at my old high school. i was surrounded by my old class mates. they all laughed at me and pointed thier fingers at me. "ha. he didn't want you. You're nothing to him. Loser." Bridget said. "He never loved you! it was a lie and you were dumb enough to believe it. you should have stuck with me." Blake said and gave a menacing laugh. The students continued taunting and laughing at me.

[end dream]

i sat up. what a horrible dream. it was six am. i felt my face was wet. i had cried during my sleep. i figured i bottled up my emotions for too long that it finally burst while i was asleep. i suddenly began to tear. The tearing led to me cry harder and even harder, till i couldn't breathe. i cried out frustration, sadness, anger, and a broken heart. no i couldn't handle it anymore. i had to get out of here. i couldn't stay here anymore. i wiped my tears and dialed my mother.

She answered. "Hello dear." she said. "Hey mom. I think i want to transfer schools." i said. there was a silence. "Why? is something wrong." she said. "no mom. it's just this school doesn't have my major. i want to transfer to Seattle." i said. "are you sure?" she asked. "positive. i'm going to talk to my conselor today and see if she can transfer me as soon as possible." i said. "okay that's fine. just call me to let me know what you need." she said. "thanks mom. love you." i said. "love you too." then she hung up.

i talked to my conselor and she was able to get me into Seattle's University. She got me the classes i needed and dropped me out of my current ones. i had four days left and i'd be out of here. i didn't need to attend to my classes anymore.

I then decided to go to the cafeteria to get lunch. "Jayla is that you?" i turned and Blake stood behind me. "Oh hey Blake." i said. his eyes were wide and looked at my new makeover. "What? wow." he said. "Yea i chopped it all off and colored it." i said. "it's nice. i like it." he smiled. "Join me for lunch?" i asked him. i was going to tell him my news. i wonder how he would take it. "Sure." he said. and we walked to the cafe.

We got a sushi and sat at a booth. "So how are you doing?" he asked. "I'm transfering to Seattle University." i said. Blake dropped his chop sticks. "What?! Why?!" he said. "i just can't be here anymore. I'm sorry." i said. "If it is because of the idiot Sebastian, don't do it." he said. "It's too late. I've already dropped my classes and enrolled. i leave this sunday." i said. "Did you even think this through? This is an impulse." he said. "yes i did. I'm sorry." i said. "Jayla please." he begged. "I'm sorry. i'm not staying." i said and began to eat. "i guess i can't change your mind. i wish you the best of luck." he said. "Thank you." i said and looked at him. He looked sad.

After lunch, i sat under the oak tree. I was going to miss this campus. "You weren't in class today." i looked up to see Scarlet in her business attire." I explained to her what i told Blake. "I see. i hope you find happiness there. but do keep in touch with me." she said and handed me a business card with her email on it. She then left because she had a class to teach. I put away her business card and went back to my dorm to finish packing.

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Okay hope you guys liked it. Sorry i didn't have time to proof read so please mind the mistakes and errors that don't make sense. let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions. :DDD