The Online Experience

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The warmth of late morning sun heating the delicate skin of my bare right shoulder as I draw a deep breathe. The lightest scent of morning dew and fresh lavender filled my lungs as I sunk down further into the buttery soft sheets. My eyes still closed, I tried to drift back to sleep, a smile raising my lips as the firm arms around my torso pulled me in tight against the familiar skin behind me. My hands instinctively wrapping around his forearms, holding him to me, afraid he might disappear. A contented sigh pushing past my lips as our bodies conformed to one another, his steady breath raising goose bumps on my neck.

"How did we get here?" My words inquisitive, but so soft I could barely hear myself. Heated lips landing quick kisses along the side of my neck.

"Does it matter?" His voice, a soothing baritone that rumbled with gentle authority, putting my soul at ease. My eyes fluttered open while laughing quietly at his response. The room was so pristine and everything around us was white with a subtle gold trim. The entire space was unfamiliar, but somehow still comfortable, like a hone I'd somehow forgotten. A skilled hand slowly traversing the curve of my right hip, fingertips calloused from years of guitar now playing a new composition along my thigh. A string of goose bumps tracing behind the path of his touch sending jolts of anticipating through my body. The silence between us comfortable, we've been in this position a million times: wrapped in soft white sheets, our bodies molding seamlessly to one another. Shifting my shoulders, followed by my hips, I lazily rolled over while his arms stayed around me.

"Can we stay like this forever?" Whispered words dropped from my lips as we finally came face to face. To my surprise he was completely clean shaven, raising my hand to his delicate features, almost looking for a single trace of stubble with my fingertips

"If that's what you want mama." A genuine smile lifting the corners of his lips as I continued to trace his features. Something was different, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The shine in his eyes was the same as it had always been. That little mole he had a tendency to accentuate was still present. Even the slight imperfections of his skin were still there to be seen up this close. His eyes lingered in mine, as if to convey some unspoken statement with the vast array of colors that made up his particular brand of hazel.

"What about her?" The words came out before I even had a chance to think about what I was saying, and in an instant I was bracing for the worst. My heart pounding in my chest so hard that he looked down, almost as if he expected to see the organ itself exposed and pounding. One of his hands left the dip in my back where it had been resting and came to rest over my breastbone, a physical manifestation of trying to settle my heart.

"It's just us Sydney." His lips met mine for the briefest moment. "No one else. Just us." He reassured me with the softest tone I'd ever heard from him. His skin under my fingers, his taste as he took over my mouth again, the tiniest moans he made in the back of his throat as our kiss deepened, it was all so over whelming. He was overwhelming. And it was almost enough for me to get lost in. Pulling back from him, whipping my head around, looking behind me, trying to find the source of the muffled sounds the has suddenly caught my attention behind me.

"Do you hear that?" Gripping the sheet tight over my chest as I looked feverishly around the room for an explanation for the mumbled voices and strange noises. It sounded as though there were people in the room, around us. His hand came over my shoulder, fingertips landing on my chin, turning my head back to him.

"It's just us Sydney. There's no one here." His eyes, pools of tarnished copper I could feel myself drowning in, but not far enough to completely make the sounds disappear.

"You really can't hear that? Like people? Talking?" His gave me a nearly lopsided grin as he shook his head no. Like he thought I was cute, but maybe a little crazy. Staying focused on his eyes I tried to remember last night and how exactly did we end up in these pristine white sheets, in this very well organized white room.

"We had a fight?" It was half a statement and half a question as my memories seemed to teeter just out of reach.

"No." He laughed as he answered "she was so stressed" his voice sounded different, as though it wasn't his at all while his hand cupped my cheek, a deeply concerned look in his eyes as the voices in the background seemed to get louder.

"Who was stressed?" He wasn't making any sense.

"Her blood pressure was through the roof" his lips moved but the words weren't his. His eyebrows creased, looking nearly on the verge of tears.

"Prince? What's going on?" I was verging on hysterics at this point. What was he talking about and why could I hear so many people.

"Sydney" I watched in horror as his lips moved and a familiar female voice came out. "Sydney" Blinking my eyes hard, once, twice, before I finally saw the pained image of him start to slip away right before me.

With a gasp my eyes flew open only to be met with a blinding light over me and more voices around me. Everything was fuzzy, like my eyes couldn't quite focus on anything. "Prince?" My voice croaked out his name as I tried to focus and I felt a hand wrap around mine, tight.

"Sydney!" The relief in her voice was obvious and as I shifted my focus I saw Alley standing beside me, her hand on mine and so much worry on her face. The longer I kept my eyes in her the clearer my sight became and the more I started to remember.

"A dream" I mumbled to myself as I could finally make out the sound of the nurses and doctors in the hallway, the beeping of the pulse monitor next to me, the scratchy hospital gown I was wearing under the crisp white sheets. Everything came rushing back like an out of control freight train smashing into a brick wall. The conversation with Prince. His reaction. Alley freaking out when she saw me.

"Sydney?" Her voice was small, as if she was afraid to pull me out of whatever I was thinking. And that's exactly when it came to me.

"The baby?" My eyes were caught in hers, pleading for an answer I could stomach. For an answer I could live with. Instead I watched as Alleys bottom lips started to quiver, her brow furrowed, and she silently shook her head.