The Online Experience

April 9, 1996 (part 2)

Not long after leaving the store we were back at the apartment and managed to get all the bags of groceries up the stairs and spread out between the kitchen counters and the kitchen table.

"Ok," digging quickly through a bag before finding the bag of Nutter Butters he had added to the cart at the last minute, "so what are we going to be cooking today? Something simple I hope." Taking a bite of the peanut shaped cookie in his hand as he leaned against the counter watching me. Searching through the bags I find the exact one I'm looking for, setting it aside, leaving the contents hidden within the milky white colored plastic bag.

"Sure it will be simple, I'll be here helping you, so it will be super simple." Walking up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, smiling as he popped the second half of his cookie into my mouth. "How do you feel about apple pie?" His smile brightened his features before dropping a kiss on my nose.

"I haven't had one in a long time."

"Ok, well I have some apples already prepped from last summer all thawed out in the fridge, so let start there." The expression on his face asked what I was really up to, but the words never left his mouth. Under my direction he put most of the groceries away, including making a nice organized storage space for his 'snack food' on top of the refrigerator and while he did that I began rolling out the pre-made pie crust I'd picked up at the store

"How the groceries coming?" His arms wrapped around my waist, chin resting on my shoulder as my words trailed off.

"All done." Words mumbled against my neck as his lips met with the soft skin at the junction between my neck and shoulder which was left exposed by my wide neck blue shirt. Unfolding the crust into the into the deep red ceramic pie pan, pressing the dough into the rounded corners of the dish.

"Ok," taking his hands from around my waist, "that other piece of pie dough," leading him to the dough already setting on the marble cooling board ready to be worked, "is all yours to roll out for the top." Handing him the marble rolling pin, a silent grin pulling the right side of my lips as his fingers wrapped uncomfortably around the wooden handles.

"I've never..." the smile on his lips was nervous as the cool stone pin met with the pliant dough.  Laughing quietly as I pour the filling into the shell.

"Steady, even pressure as you roll and just make it bigger than the opening I have here." I nodded to the open, pie. Pursing his lips slightly, giving the dough a nod, as if accepting the challenge as he began the smooth rolling motion. Pretending to clean the space around me I watched with delight as he focused intently on the task at hand; shoulders rolled forward slightly, head down as his eyes slipped back and forth between the dough and the pie, guessing at the size he needed. The sleeves of his oversized looking sweater pulled up to his elbows, the palm of his hand sliding over the dough occasionally to made sure there where no overly thick spots. For the briefest moment he looked completely lost in the effort to make the perfect pie top, as if he was determined to perfect this just as he tried to perfect everything he worked on. After a few minutes I watched as he copied my steps from earlier, folding the crust in half, then again, before carrying it over to the pie. I walked him through the steps involved in finishing the pie before placing the completed item in the oven and turned my attention to washing up a few dishes.

"Thanks for the lesson in pie making." His voice barely above the sound of the running water as he picked up a dish towel and started drying the small stack of dishes I'd cleaned.

"You mean you never made a pie with your mom or your grandmother when you were a kid?" The question rolling off my tongue as I put away dishes as he handed them to me.

"We, we didn't really have a family like that." The hesitation in his voice caught my attention, turning to him with a curious expression, waiting for more explanation.

"So what's the plan today?" He changed the subject without giving it a second thought as he folded the dish towel before dropping it to the counter. Walking over to the fridge, pulling out onions and celery and bringing them over to the thick cutting board on the counter.

"Something happened last year that really bothered me." Busying myself setting a pot on the stovetop, dropping some butter in the stainless steel vessel. I could feel his intense gaze burning into the back of my neck. "I couldn't do anything about it then, but I sort of can now." Agile fingers wrapped around my wrist, turning me around and pulling me to him.

"What on earth are you talking about?" A silent laugh hidden just behind sparkling hazel eyes which were missing that typical thin line of dark liner.

"Your wi..." the word failing to pass over my lips, my eyes finally leaving his as I come briefly face to face with that word and all it implied. "She left you alone when no one should be alone." My eyes shifting over to the one grocery bag still remaining on the counter. His eyes followed mine before reaching over and grabbing the seemingly forgotten bag and peeking inside at the still thawing box it contained. "I don't really know how to cook that, but I think there are directions..."

"I know how to cook this." His words cut me off, a brilliant smile filling his face, his eye came back to mine as he pulled the box from the shopping bag.

"It broke my heart, the idea of you being all alone for thanksgiving. No one should have to be alone on thanksgiving or miss it in my opinion." My voice soft as I studied the excited glow covering his features. "So I thought we could have our own little thanksgiving dinner, in April." That smile still plastered on his face, cheekbones high, nose scrunched slightly, his head shaking. "I know it's silly..."

"And I love it." His smooth left hand cupping my cheek after setting the still slightly frozen box of tofurkey on the counter. His thumb sliding along the soft skin under my eye as I sink further into his embrace, the fluffy warmth of his sweater welcoming me. "That's one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me." The sharp sound of the oven timer filling the room, breaking me out of the trance his electric smile had me in.

"Well, we have pie." Breaking free of his grip and pulling the bubbling pastry from the oven. "Now we just have to make everything else." The rest of the day was spent chopping vegetables, showing Prince how to make stuffing, him showing me how to cook tofurkey, sharing stories with him about Thanksgiving with my family; the day was exactly what I'd imagined cooking thanksgiving dinner with Jamie would be like, before I knew the truth. By early evening there was a stack of dishes in my sink and we were sitting down to a thanksgiving dinner cooked entirely by the two of us. Tofurkey, gravy Prince made from the package included with the tofurkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, deviled eggs and some prepackaged rolls all filled my table along with our plates and glasses of white wine.

"Thank you for this Sydney."his voice faltered slightly as he placed a piece of fake turkey loaf on my plate. I could see the faintest hint of sadness from this morning starting to show in his eyes before he pushed it back.

"Anything for you." Responding with a smile. Dinner was mostly quiet, save for the occasional comment of how good this or that part of dinner was. Tofurkey was certainly nothing to rave over, but this was Thanksgiving for him, and I still couldn't help but ponder how someone who claims to love him couldn't be bothered to make a small concession like that for him. After we had both eaten as though it was truly thanksgiving we left the meal and the dishes all to be dealt with later and retired to the couch. The stereo quietly played some random jazz sounding cd he had put on as we cuddled on the couch. He sat with her arm around me, fingers dragging slowly through my hair as I rested my head against his chest. Moving my arms to wrap around his waist, my hand trailing over his belly I couldn't help but laugh silently at the barely noticeable curve I felt.

"You have a food baby." The laugh in my voice couldn't be hidden and was only encouraged as he rested his hand over mine, laughing along with me.

"You did this to me." He mocked, slipping his fingers between mine. "I haven't had a home cooked meal in a long time that wasn't made by my chef. Thank you." Drawing a deep, satisfied breath as he settled farther into the couch.

"Prince?"

"Hhmm?" I could tell from the steady sound of his breathing he was drifting into sleep.

"What were you crying about this morning?" Our hands still entwined and resting on his belly.

"Nothing sweetheart, nothing for you to worry about."