one : another day inside my head

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Today. Is. Another. Day.

I breathe. Yet another breath.

Life fills everything, enveloping me.

But I couldn't feel more dead.

Suffocating from the light.

I only find my peace at night.

When it's-

dark.

It's-

quiet.

But my demons are still out to play.

To throw around my ugly secrets,

rip open my deepest scars,

scream the things I never say.

And this goes on.

For hours.

Alone.

I lose myself inside my head.

Lately all I see is red.

Even as the sun casts a warm glow on every surface, it coats the world in gold.

Why can't I feel it?

Everyone else seems to feel its warmth.

Did I do something wrong?

Do I deserve to be tortured by my mind relentlessly hitting me with doubts I can't shake?

I know I'm strong and I can smile the pain away, but everyone eventually breaks.

Yet, maybe I'll survive another day.

Maybe God will give me another day to climb out of the hole I've let myself fall into.

Maybe tomorrow will be better?

But "better" is not enough.

It only last for so long-

at least in my mind.

The sun sets on the horizon and leaves me to sleep away my worries, but even then I'm never safe from myself.

My own thoughts will always tear me apart.

But this is just another day.

-sierra

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