if you haven't noticed
the way I don't cry
or the numb smile I use to hide
or the laugh that's paper-thin
or how i care all too much
about things I used to let roll off my shoulders
or how i get angry and violent
or how i'm triggered by tiny, insignificant things
or how I tune out
or full of doubt, I tend to shout.
if you haven't noticed
how your words sting
and how they make me
feel
worthless.
abso-fucking-lutely
worthless.
how words cut deeper than i could
cut myself, that's why i don't.....
cut myself.
because why harm myself when
you've already done that all for
me?
so- if you haven't noticed
my heart breaking
my mind pacing
my lungs shaking
my voices screaming
my life shattering into
millions
of
tiny
little
pieces.
if you haven't noticed
my pleads
or my cries for release
or my breaking
if you haven't noticed me-
-me ripping apart at the seams
if you haven't noticed
if you haven't cared
if you haven't looked
if you haven't seen
if you haven't heard
if you haven't tried
or listened
or felt
or cried
or prayed
or seen...me
if you haven't.....
don't you dare stand there
and pretend like you cared
don't pretend like you cried
these tears
don't fake it...like i did
it only breaks you....
it broke me....
so don't smile unless you mean it
don't cry unless you feel it
don't pray so you can sleep better
don't fake
don't pretend
...... if you haven't noticed......
......just forget it................................
Nobody notices
.... nobody notices my hurt...........
or my loneliness.....
... nobody or sees...
...nobody understands...
...nobody listens...
....i'm misunderstood...
people say fake it 'till you make it
no one makes it
you still fake it
i'm sick of
your fake sympathy smiles
and fake
i'm- sorry- you're- hurting
let's-talk-for-awhile-s
...just shut up...
...just fucking shut up.
leave me....
........................alone..............for once.
but you can't shake me
i don't care if you don't give a crap about me
i wouldn't change a thing
if i could go back and change things
i wouldn't
i wouldn't change a thing
i'd never leave this life by my own will
that's not my decision
i'm not my own to kill.....
because i don't need approval
or validation,
i will pretend that judgmental glances
and rude remarks don't phase me
nobody cares about me
so I don't need to care about them.
i'm done with the one-way relationships
and one-sided conversations
i'm sick of being talked at
and laughed at
no one listens
therefore you don't have authority over me
your approval isn't needed
you don't change my will to live
(as much as you wish it did)
so when i laugh in your face and say "i told you so"
don't pretend to care
i already know that you don't need me
you just want to use me
along with every other sick creature in this Earth
so don't ask for favors
because you aren't getting any.
YOU ARE READING
The Messed Up Mind Of Me
De Todolife throws a lot of challenges at us. some of us can take the hits. we get back up again after we fall. but even the strongest souls can be lost in this world. and even the weakest souls can become strong. people, faces, words. words are weapons. h...
