The Protector

XXVII

After stopping at Tilly's room, just managing to catch her, we head down to the back garden where training is taking place since it's the largest space we have as of the moment. There are several grunts and groans echoing throughout the house due to the intensity of our training. While being here, I've only attended one session, rather shocking actually since normally new Beta's have to attend on compulsion. However, Luke brought up the suggestions not long after I started tutoring, and got shut down immediately - I already didn't get enough sleep. I gave him the option that I either train or attend the sessions, he chose easily.

I motion for my Princess to sit on one of the now fixed benches pressed against the wall, which she happily takes up. Not only do I not want her fighting in her current state, but if she attempts shifting, she could kill herself. Changing into a full wolf takes a lot out of any of us, doing it when weak isn't a good idea. I will not risk her getting hurt for something so trivial. She's something I am so unsure of.

I know she's the world to me in the matter of a day, but that doesn't mean I accept that I deserve her. She's so perfect in my mind, and I don't think she should be dragged down by my screw ups and idiocy, not to mention my shitty baggage. There's people who have had it worse, but I still seem to listen to the slightest insecurity when there are people with severe depression managing to get through their days better than me. I'm just selfish I guess. But I am not giving her up, I can't do it.

Moving on. Glancing around, Bear is instantly the first thing to catch anyone's attention with all of the noise coming from that corner of the yard. His group is probably at about thirty individuals, all learning about hand-to-hand combat. We're practically in a war, so being able to defend yourself is the most important thing in my opinion.

After spending so many years with Zayn's pack, it isn't surprising that he is one of that pack's best fighters. He had to take part in capturing victims and kill anyone that tried to protect them. I'm honestly shocked that he hasn't come out of that with more mental damage, I think it made him kinder as a way of making up for his 'crimes'.

His teaching method appears to be staying firm enough to hold their attention, but sweet enough for them to not feel intimidated or scared of letting him down when they lose in a fight. I may speak to Luke about making him a permanent teacher for training, he seems to be enjoying it. The proud grin and applause he provides each time something is done correctly tells me so.

Continuing to watch while he spars with a young chap from Davey's old pack, I can tell he's holding back a fair bit. He's able to easily predict every single move the kid makes. From this distance, I can also figure out where he is planning to go next from the way he glances at the spot first. His foreseeable attacks result in Beck knocking him back onto his butt, though he makes sure to hold his arm so he doesn't fall too hard. Always sort hearted and considerate.

Davey is standing not far from them, disappointment revealed in every shake of his head. His response to the boy has my teeth grinding painfully. I don't know whether I want him here or not with how much he judges everyone. However, he submitted and needs a place to live, so I'll keep my mouth shut for now.

Helping him to his feet, the trainee bows, accepting his defeat without a grudge. Taking his shoulder into his hand, Bear begins explaining his strengths and weaknesses, guiding him on what needs to be worked on first so he isn't so quickly beaten.

Just within the treeline Matthew is supporting a group of maybe forty who are learning to phase. Many of them are appearing to find the task difficult, which we of course expected. A handful are jumping into it, determined and succeeding. Two or three are already defeated, sprawling on the floor while groaning.

The many whimpers from cracking bones as they break and reform in a new position is heartbreaking. I never want to hear this level of agony from my pack, but sadly it is necessary. With a rigid spine, I make my way over to observe the full scene.