Dodging Bullets || Antonio Dawson

trienta cuatro.

Gabby showed Matt her black dress before nodding.

"You look good." He confirmed as she nodded herself. "How's Antonio holding up ?"

"It bothers him a lot and the unit is devastated."

"And Detective Edwards ?"

Gabby sighed and grabbed her phone and purse.

"She's miserable. She was the last person to talk to him somehow and she won't stop blaming herself. That's what I heard from Kelly."

"Is he going ?"

Gabby shrugged.

"I'm assuming he isn't but I don't know."

Matt walked her to her car and kissed her softly.

"I'll see you after the funeral."

She kissed him again before getting in. Gabriela drove off and went to her brother's home to get him. She parked and Antonio walked outside. A regular suit and tie is what he wore as he got inside the car. She rubbed his shoulder.

"You going to be okay ?"

"I will be. It just really hit me because I wouldn't know what I would do if it happened to Diego. I don't know how Voight's going to handle it."

"Do.......nevermind."

"What ?"

"It's timely insensitive."

"I'm a detective , I've seen chopped up bodies what is it Gabriela ?"

She sighed and looked away from him.

"It was a murder , wasn't it ?"

Antonio looked out the window as he put his seat belt on. Once it clicked , he sat back.

"I don't think I should say the answer we all know."

She nodded before backing up and going to the grounds where Justin's burial was going to be held. The two silently got out before walking over with their arms around each other. The space was completely silent as everyone sat down. Antonio sighed , sitting down with his sister.

Kim patted his shoulder as her and Adam sat next to him.

Moments later , Alejandra walked past them to sit directly in the front row with Kelly Severide right beside her, holding on to her arm. Antonio didn't say anything even though he had some few choice words to say to her but now wasn't the time or place and it wasn't going to be for awhile.

Voight went to speak and he stood beside his son. The man wasn't going to cry , he couldn't ; not with his unit and people he didn't personally know , he just couldn't.

But then it hit him , the worst it ever did.

After this moment , he was never going to see his face again.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

This is a lesson I learned from my son . Not only did he dance in the rain, he wanted to dance in the rain. Andrew had an exorbitant number of storms during his short life so he knew from experience that another storm was coming on the heels of the one that just passed. " Voight's face lit up just slightly with a small smile , remembering his son. "My son lived his life on his terms. He listened, but did not take advice. He did not conform to social "norms." But just like me , he was a rebel. He was a free-spirit who lived in the present, and again, on his terms. He was a dreamer. He was a leader. He had followers. He could enter a room and brighten it with his smile, his attitude, or just his presence. He had "it" and he did."

Tears raised in his eyes.

"I've learned over the past week just how strong he was. I've learned from him, his family and his friends and acquaintances. He made friends so easily and was true to each and every one of them. He supported them, guided them and made them happy. He made me happy."

A slight tear fell down his face.

"I stand here today with a broken heart. The loss of a child is something I could have never prepared for. Even during the past week, under stupid odds, I refused to prepare myself. I wasn't ready. I'm still not ready. He had so many dreams and so many plans for the future. He would have made these dreams come true. He was prepared to fight but never had a chance to lace up the gloves. He did not die on his terms. He did not want to leave us. He loved us. He will continue to love us. My son, Justin , died a man. He died with the dignity and the respect he deserved. He achieved his goal of making us proud. He achieved his goal of being proud of himself. Our lives will never be the same. He made sure of that."

Voight looked down at his son one more time.

"Justin, I love you with all my heart; I am profoundly proud of you; you have taught me. I look forward to seeing you again when the time comes. , I will continue to seek peace, as you wished. I will not let you down. It's my turn to make you proud. Rest in peace; and never, never stop dancing in the rain."

He leaned down and kissed his son's forehead. No one said a word and Voight finally walked over and sat down between Erin and Alejandra.  The two held on to his hands as he looked at that casket. The one holding his son's body. The body that he could never hold again.

Alejandra shook quietly , trying to not burst in tears along with Erin.

Their little brother was gone.

Everyone made their rounds to look at Justin one more time.  Jay had to physically move Erin as she looked her little brother since she frozen , that was the last time she was going to see him ever again. Once Alejandra looked at her brother's bruised face , she let out a gut wrenching sob as she grabbed on to the side of the casket.

"I'm so sorry !" She shouted as tears fell down her face. The gut wrenching scream made Erin sob loudly. Jay wrapped his arms around Erin as she cried. Kelly had helped up Alejandra and guided her to stand near the casket as he brought to a spot and hugged her as she sobbed in his chest.

The scream made Antonio's eyes fill up with water. His girlfriend lost her brother and he couldn't even comfort her. He couldn't do that to Voight right now. He couldn't do that to her right now. From Justin's death , his kids and his girlfriend that seemed so out of reach , the tension filled him. He bent over with his heads in his hands, tearing up even more before letting a tear fall and sniffling.

Gabby rubbed his back , feeling so bad about the situation. Justin was gone , Ali blamed herself and Voight was going to running the streets to hell to find out who killed his son.

They all watched the casket lower into the ground.

This was the last time anyone was ever going to see Justin Voight.

Voight couldn't handle it , he couldn't watch. He shook his angrily and walked off. Jay whispered something to Erin before she followed Voight. Jay went up to his unit as they all congregated together.

"What's going to happen to us ?" Kim asked softly , wiping her tears.

"I don't know." Jay told her ."I really don't know."