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I suddenly felt my body rigidly shift into good posture without my telling it to.
No! How is he doing this?!
"Smack Paul Bunion over there. As hard as you can." Metatron ordered.
My body responded to his order without hesitation and cut loose on Sam's cheek almost as hard as I had kicked the flirty angel into the table.
I was internally screaming, pounding on the walls of my mind prison, trying anything to get out.
Metatron laughed and pointed like a middle schooler, "Did you see his face!"
"Evelynn, I'm sorry..." Sam whispered, turning his head to look at me, a red mark from my hand shining from under his stubble.
Why are you sorry!? I'm the one who should be sorry!
"I couldn't get to you... And now you're gone." He forced the words out as a tear slipped down his face.
No! I'm still in here! Damnit Sam I'm still here!
"It's not your fault man... I should have checked perimeter before I opened the door." Dean grunted.
Don't you dare fight over blame! If we survive this I will kick your asses!
"Aw! How cute! Hit the short one." Metatron trilled and slapped the table, thoroughly enjoying himself.
My body jerked into motion, obeying his demands without a hitch.
"Whoo! You hit harder than Sammy!" Dean muttered shaking his head and tweaking his jaw around.
Now is not the time Dean.
"Face me." I did as I was told desperately trying to break the hold he had on me. "Now we get the real test." Metatron grinned as he stood from the table, scooping up and angel blade and shoving it in my palm. He got on his tip toes and whispered in my ear, "kill the angel."
"What?!" Both the boys asked in shock.
"Kill the angel." I repeated.
I got my mouth back!
"Yes, very good. Now do it." Metatron growled.
I started pounding on all my mental blocks, throwing everything I had at them.
"Evelynn no! There's got to be some way to fight it! Please don't give up in there!" Dean yelled as I slowly turned towards Cas.
"Ehvs don't do it!Cmon! Please Sunshine I know you're in there... Evelynn stop!" Sam's cries mingled with Dean's as I took a slow step, then another and one more before I was in front of Cas.
He was already bloody and near death to begin with. His unconscious head lolling back against the chair in what couldn't have been a comfortable position.
"I'm concentrating here. Shut up guys." I snapped as my body rotated the blade in my fingers.
"You can't stop me you little bitch." Metatron laughed, "just because you found your voice doesn't mean you found your arms. Speed it up." He commanded.
My arms moved faster, positioning a hand on Cas' shoulder and pulling the angel blade back preparing to plunge it deep into his chest.
At my contact Cas' eyes flew open focusing on me, "Evelynn, you're okay." He observed
"Cas I-"
"Oh save it carrot top." Metatron jeered and snapped his fingers in the 'chop chop' fashion.
"Evelynn what are you doing?" Cas asked begining to struggle against his bondage.
"This isn't her! Cas he worked the mind control, it's not her!" Sam yelled straining against Metatron's invisible forces.
"He ordered you to kill me?" Cas asked looking me straight in the eyes as if he was already resigned to his fate making me die inside.
"GO ALREADY!" Metatron yelled spurring my arm forward.
The blade was buried into Cas' chest before I knew what happened.
I couldn't think, or all I could do was think. I don't really know. It just hurt. The room stayed silent until Dean broke it pulling me back into my own body, even if I couldn't control it.
"Cas! CAS!" Dean screamed with tears flowing freely now.
Sam just looked at me with completely dead eyes, as if he had been the one stabbed, not Cas.
I broke him. I did what I was afraid of, sorry Dean. He's not even crying. Why won't he cry?
I stood there looking at Sam for a bit longer as I felt my period seep through my jeans. This was no period. This had to be internal bleeding from the beating I had taken earlier, but in all honesty I didn't care.
Maybe this will kill me so he loses his weapon...
"Now that I know it works," Metatron interrupted my emotional turmoil by stepping in front of the burnt out body of Jimmy Novak that used to hold my favorite angel, "I need you to go wipe out the homeless people over there. They smell and ask too many questions."
I turned on my heel and walked out the door, following a path down to a bridge where there were dozens of people huddled together to fight off the cold. There were women and children scattering the scene as well, making the part of me being kept in a box curl up in the fetal position.
I raised my hand and twisted my wrist, making them all turn to face me.
Stop. I can't do this. There's infants.
When my hand closed, setting off explosions of light behind every last person's eyes, I screamed.
It probably looked like rage but I was dying inside.
I just killed all of them. At least twenty children.
What was left of my fight began to whither away as my body turned and walked calmly back to the hotel room where not much had changed except my sister and my mother sitting on their knees flanking Cas' dead body.
"Why?" I asked Metatron with pain flooding my words and face.
Got my face back
"Oh I'm just having fun now. You're going to kill your own family." He smiled. "It's much more fun and scaring than when I do it!"
"No. Anything but that." I choked as I screamed in outrage on the inside.
Metatron just smiled and moved over to my mother grabbing her by her graying hair and tilting her head back.
Memories of my childhood came flooding back as I just stared into her eyes. The time when she took me for ice cream after I had broken my leg, and the time when I had a panic attack before giving my Valedictorian speech she had been right there to hold me and help me breathe, putting me right back together in time to get out there and give a flawless speech. The times when I came home from my freshman year of college babbling about how stupid the parties were and how none of the guys had any real values and she would make us coffee and we just complained to eachother on the porch swing. All the times she would read me stories when I was little and make me steamed milk when I couldn't sleep...
I could only barely hear her over my efforts to gain control of my body.
"Evelynn I love you. I don't blame you. If you and Sam survive this and don't get married I will haunt you so hard you'll wish you had died. But I love you baby. You're my little angle. Almost literally!" There were tears streaming down the sides of her cheeks into her hair as she repeated her phrases in different order waiting for me to kill her.
"No." I whispered taking a step back.
"What?" Metatron spat looking up at me in amazement, "did you just tell me no?"
"I am the most powerful being on this planet. You can't hold me for that long. I am beyond heaven and earth. You think you could control all this power?" I pulled a bunch of bullshit out of thin air to keep him preoccupied while I tried gaining control of my arms.
"You don't want to do that." Metatron smiled wickedly.
"And why is that?" I provoked him even more hoping he would keep talking.
"I'll show you." He raised his hands to my mother's forehead and with a flash of light she was gone.
"YOU BASTARD!" I screamed still unable to move the uper portions of my body.
"Ooooooo, never insult the person with the gun." He chided walking over to Joy who was sobbing uncontrollably.
"DONT YOU DARE!" Dean Sam and I all screamed at the same time.
"But I do dare." Metatron sang lifting his hands to her head.
The light began to shine and all my efforts finally shattered the hold he had on me completely.
I lunged forward and body slammed him into the wall in the hopes that he hadn't done too much damage yet. I pulled back, using one hand to keep him pressed against the wall I let fly a few punches to his face before he got one in on my side, the same one I had been kicked in earlier that night.
Sam was at my side to resume the beatings as I staggered backwards in pain. Metatrons focus must have broken and let them go because I heard Dean mumbling to himself as he checked Joy's vitals.
Sam paused just a little too long and Metatron flicked his wrist sending him flying across the room.
Before I could land a hit Metatron grabbed the closest weapon to him and ran it up and under my ribs.
My side was on fire, I felt none of my other pain, the blade completely took over my consciousness. I was vaguely aware of being lowered to the ground by Metatron as I gasped for air, sputtering and trying to cough when my inhaling made a gurlgling sound.
"If I can't have you no one will." He snarled.
His words were just enough to break my daze. I reached up and pressed my palm against his forehead without hesitation and smote him just like he had my mother. His body fell on top of mine but I didn't have the strength to push him off.
"Can't have me if you're dead." I breathed, laughing at my poor attempt at a one liner.
"Oh my god. Ehvs." Sam was at my side to shove Metatron off me not too long after I started coughing, "Dean!" The muted panic in Sam's voice was escalated when I started coughing up blood, "DEAN!"
"I already called for two ambulances. Breathe Sam. Prop her up a little bit so the blood doesn't stop her from using her good lung." Dean instructed as my vision started to fade for the second time in twenty four hours.
"Sam." I coughed, reaching a hand up to cup his cheek as he propped me against his chest, "I love you." I whispered.
"Don't. Don't say that like goodbye." He whispered back as I felt tears wet my scalp.
"It's a possibility Samson." I was having trouble keeping my eyes open now.
"I love you. Don't go. Whatever you do, don't let your reaper take you. Don't you dare." His voice broke as my eyes fluttered closed, "I love you." Were the last words I heard before blackness.