75%

49

Everything was white. So white and so bright it hurt my eyes causing me to squeeze them shut immediately after opening them. I went to groan and realized there was something in the way.
My eyes flew open and I tried in vain to sit up and get whatever was in my throat out but I could barely move and my arms were so weak I probably couldn't have held a football.
My breathing quickened and my eyes darted around finding machines and ceiling tiles as the faint but accelerating beeping sound of a heart monitor reached my ears.
"Gingy, hey! It's okay. Everything's alright! They just put a tube down there to make sure you were breathing and be able to check for blood. You're okay Gingy." Dean soothed as he gently pushed my shoulders back down and brushed a hair out of my face.
I nodded to show him I understood but I gave him the look of death for letting them robot me.
"I'm gonna be right back okay? I'm getting the nurse then I'm'ma go find Sammy." Dean told me to which I nodded again.
For the brief time I was alone I almost let myself break down. I couldn't get Cas' or my mothers burnt out eyes out of my head and I could almost hear the yells of the homeless camp I had murdered.
A nurse came in followed by an average height bad boy lookin guy with some major scruff and dark circles going on. I quickly mopped up a tear that had been fighting it's way out of my eye and did my best to seem clam. No one but the Winchesters gets to see me cry.
"Hey, I'm Dr. Karev this is Kelly. How you feelin, Evelynn?" He asked looking at my chart then looking up expectantly when I didn't respond. "Oh! Kelly you wanna..." He gestured and pointed at the tube and Kelly jumped to it. She clearly found him very attractive.
She got me some water and they made me wait a minute or two before they let me talk.
"What day is it?" I asked not really caring about what had happened to my body so much as how long Sam had to sit here and wait for me to wake up.
"You've been either under anesthesia or sleeping for four days." Karev answered.
"Shit. Okay... What did I miss?"
"Well, Snookie made the New York Times best seller list, a few celebrities cheated on their spouses, and everyone freaked the fuck out about the hunger games." Karev summarized with a proud smirk on his face at his level of sass.
"I mean what happened to me genius. Your sarcasm needs work." I countered, not really impressed after having lived with Winchesters as long as I had.
"Kelly you want to go check on Roger in 208?" Karev asked suddenly looking rather morose.
Kelly nodded and left making sure to close the door on the way out.
"You got the shit beat out of you by someone and stabbed. But you know that part right?" Karev asked waiting for me to nod then continuing, "the stab wound punctured your lung so we had to go in and sew that up and get as much of the blood that had pooled in your lung out as we could."
"That took four days?" I asked taking another sip of the water Kelly had left near enough for me to reach the straw. Karev paused for a second to give me a quizzical look that almost passed for a smile. I was obviously way more laid back than his usual patient.
"There's more." He began, drawing a breath before continuing, "Your husband said you had been kicked in the abdomen several times. Do you remember that?" He asked.
Husband? Okay. I can roll with that.
"Yeah. Kinda hard not to..." I mumbled in response averting eye contact.
"Okay, well," Karev walked over and sat on my bed next to my hand, "do you remember any of the blows hurting a little more than the others?"
"Yes.... How...?"
"I'm a doctor. Don't question it." He interrupted with a smug smile.
"Alright, alright. But why all the questions?" I asked, I just wanted to know what the hell was going on so I could heal it and leave. I had other, emotional wounds I needed to go heal.
"Were you aware you were pregnant?" He asked jus plain giving up on the skirting around with questions.
"Pregnant!" I exclaimed.
My limbs went numb and my mind slowed almost to a halt as I heard my heart beat speed up.
No I can't have a baby. I mean I will but what kind of a life is this going to be for him? My lifestyle and all the things coming after me would kill the poor thing. This guy can't be serious. He's fucking lying.
He wasn't fucking lying, I could tell by his face. Then I picked up on something.
"Wait, what do you mean 'were'" I asked in a near whisper.
Karev looked at me with big sad eyes and I finally noticed the 'pediatrics' next to his name on the tag, "You were six weeks pregnant. That one kick that hurt more than the others? It was most likely a direct hit to your womb. It tore the protective walls and terminated the fetus."
It took me a moment to process what he had said.
I am able to carry a supposedly healthy life inside my geneticly fucked up body. I am also pretty damn good at it seeing as my morning sickness started later than most. I am the cause for my baby dying. I am really upset about this even though I have never wanted kids.
Then something hit me for the second time that day,
Sam has known longer than I have.
"I need to see Sam. Where is he?" I demanded holding back tears that were beginning to form. I had dealt with far too much lately to have this bomb dropped on me. It just wasn't fucking fair.
"Dean is looking for him right now." Karev soothed taking my hand ever so gently, "He took off when he heard about the baby." He informed me.
"Okay..." I whispered biting my lip as a tear escaped.
"Do you want to know the rest or should that wait?" He asked.
"Lay it on me." I shrugged, "can't really get much worse." My voice was strained and warbly as my mental walls began to crumble.
"The parts of your womb that were intact were burnt. 2nd degree." He said flatly.
"Oh my god." I breathed.
That means the baby burned. He burned like an angel. My child would be a nephilim as well....
I pulled my hand away to rub my face with both hands but ended up sobbing into them.
"I'll go find your husband." Karev muttered patting the bed and walking out the door.
I don't know how long it was before I heard the doorknob click again but it was far too long for me to have been alone to wallow in my pain.
I opened my eyes to see Sam slip in and press his back against the wall. I pressed the button to sit my hospital bed up so I could see him better and we just stared at each other with un readable faces for at least as long as I had been left alone.
"How long have you known?" I whispered with fresh tears rolling down my face.
"Bout a day." He answered slowly with a slightly hoarse voice.
I just nodded, biting my lower lip to keep from crying out. There was another long silence in which Sam crossed the room slowly and stood by my bed.
"He burned, Sam." I moaned looking up at him and willing him to at least grab my hand, "when he- he died. He burned just- just like Cas." I squeaked letting a sob loose when I had finally got my sentance out.
Sam took my hand and squeezed it between both of his as he started to cry too.
"Evelynn I'm so sorry." He whispered collapsing across me, snaking his arms around my waist careful not to disturb my stab wound as he began to sob along with me.
"Why are you sorry? I kicked the angel... It's my fault. All of it." I cried wrapping my one arm around his shaking shoulders and running the other hand ran through his hair.
"No. I pulled you into this whole thing." He sniffled going all the way back to te beginning.
"Sam, shut up. Stop trying to take blame for everything. You always do this. It was a matter of time before the Angels found me anyway. If you want to blame someone blame my pa- dad..." I broke down in a sob again remembering what Metatron did to my mother.
Fucking Gabriel! He never even showed back up! He just abandoned us.
Sam straightened himself out a little bit and swung his leg up to lay down on the bed with me. We held onto each other and cried for almost three hours.
We cried over Cas.
We cried over my mother.
But most of all we cried over our baby. Our baby that never even got to it's second trimester.
Our little family I hadn't realized we had meshed together had suddenly been decimated.