No More Choices (Void and Light Book One)

Chapter Twenty-One

~Akiriya~

The wind blasted in my face and frozen air bit at every exposed inch of my skin but I didn't care about any of it. The only thing that I could focus on was Yama and the way that the veins visible under his skin darkened and the way that his breathing had become shallower and shallower. I could feel Emory holding my hand and Jarek at my back. I was playing with a small blade trying to calm my nerves.

Saffron and Calvin were speaking to Tanda while Zelisa stood off to the side playing with a small flame. We were going to Helios. The one place that would have people able to help Yama. Not only was that a big concern for me but I could still feel the weight of the small silver box in my pocket that I had taken from the wolf. A part of me felt guilty about not saying anything but I knew that it wouldn't be smart. Plus, I didn't really trust Tanda. She was an unknown and trusting unknowns had never worked out for anyone.

"Akiriya!" Calvin called, motioning me over. I let go of Emory's hand and made my way over. He smiled knowingly at me as if he understood how I was feeling. He tried to meet my eyes but I glanced down. Wasn't all of this my fault? The wolf had to have come for me but I didn't know why. "Hey, look at me," I didn't, but his tone made me want to. "None of this is your fault, don't even think about that."

"How can you tell that's what I'm feeling?"

"Isn't it obvious? You haven't said a word this entire time. Just played with this knife." I looked up at him then because he'd somehow distracted me with his talking long enough to disarm me. That's what shocked me the most, I think. The realization that I had somehow grown to not only believe every word about my existence that I was being told but I had also grown to care about these strangers who had stomped their way into my life. I felt so guilty my guard was down. It was never down.

"What am I supposed to think when my entire world is changing around me and I can't do anything to stop it?" I was angry, frustrated and confused. Why was this happening now? "Last week magic didn't exist, I'm living it." I could feel my skin heating. My guilt and sadness were morphing into pure rage. Small sparks were dancing up my arms and I flames began to burst throughout my curls, spiraling down to sit at my shoulders warming my already heated flesh.

I looked up at Calvin, he looked both scared and concerned. I felt a hand at my back and turned to face whoever it was, prepared to lash out at them with all the power of the emotional tidal wave I was feeling. Saffron stood there, concern cutting her face into jagged odds and ends.

"Akiriya, I need you to calm yourself." She placed a hand to my shoulder and I subconsciously flinched, even in this state of mind I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want to hurt anyone. She smiled sadly at me and placed her hand on my shoulder. The coolness of her palm was welcomed and as I took in a deep breath I felt a little steadier than I had.

I took a deep breath before speaking, "Listen, I know this isn't my fault," I looked up to see everyone's eyes on me. Saffron, Jarek, Emory, Calvin, and Zelisa all looked at me with encouragement. It felt odd. Wrong almost, didn't they see how dangerous I was? "But I can't ignore the fact that Yama got hurt because of me."

Zelisa stood to speak and was cut off by Tanda.

She sent what I assume was supposed to be an encouraging smile my way and glided over, as if she were walking on water. Something about her made me unsteady. The smile she gave me didn't come off as genuine and the energy she put out felt dark.

"Dear child don't put yourself down, or in that sorrow you will drown. Power brings fear, but in great hands," she reached for mine at that moment and I had no choice but to allow her to hold them, "can bring unity loud enough for all to hear." she met my eyes after but I couldn't hold her stare, her eyes felt soulless and empty, like they were shadowed by darkness. She abruptly turned to the rest of the group to discuss the opening of the portal to Helios and walked away from me. Zelisa took her place and squeezed my hand.

"Well, before I was so rudely interrupted," she snickered and earned a chuckle from me that had her lighting up. "I was going to say that we have your back. I can't imagine how hard this is for you, I have grown up with magic my entire life, but I promise to try to teach you the best that I can." she played with a flame in her hand and showed complete mastery of it as it danced around her fingers and then morphed itself into a rose. "Fire can be dangerous and destructive, but there is beauty in it too. I swear to show you all that I can." she looked me in the eyes then and squeezed my hand again lightly. I felt a spark zip up my arm and I imagine she felt it too as she glanced down to our united palms.

Someone cleared their throat and we both looked over to see Emory glaring daggers at Zelisa.

Tanda Clapped her hands and gathered our attention. "Look here to reach none other than the land of the Sun, for there we will save our broken one."

The whirling bright thing floating behind Tanda seemed to be what would be the portal to Helios. Was I ready for this? To walk through this portal and find out who I was?

"You can do this." someone whispered it to me but I didn't know who. I glanced at Yama's worsening form. I had to do this. No matter what anyone said, his life was in danger because of me and there was no way he would die for me.

I stepped forward and came face to face with the portal. Slight wind stirred my hair and fear tangled my insides. There was no going back after this.

I looked at everyone behind me, looking at the smiles, minus Tanda's, that made me feel just a little more secure. I glanced at the ring that Emilio had given me before his death. Had that only been a short time ago?

I nodded and turned back to the portal, "Ok, let's do this."

And I stepped though.