is my best friend the one? (finished)

chapter 12 (warning self-harm)

i ran inside and flopped on my bed. my mother didn't even acknowledge i was home. whatever. i cried into my pillow. "some saturday." i say, angrily.

i was still bawling my eyes out when i heard something scratch my window. i go to the window and open it, though i could barely see anything with my puffy, red eyes.

[tyler pov]
i can't believe i said that. i can't believe i said that. why would i even say that? i told the boys what i said and they got really mad. i started tearing up. "i didn't mean it... i'm jealous, ok? i'm jealous davy beat me to her!" i sobbed.

michael and greg looked shocked. we don't normally express our emotions to each other. "you like her?" michael asks.

"yeah and i just made her cry! i have to apologize-" "no! you can't go to her like this! wait a few minutes, you both cool down, and then go see her." steve cuts me off.

i nod and we keep riding. i still can't believe i said that to her. almost an hour later, i head to ada's house. i decide she wouldn't talk to me if i came to her front door so i threw a stick at her window.

she came and opened it. her eyes were red and irritated. i really messed up. "ada i-" i started but she stopped me by flipping me off and slamming her window shut. i felt terrible.

[ada pov]
i didn't mean it when i flipped tyler off. i was just mad. the truth was all i wanted was a hug. not from my mom, either. i wanted a hug from ms. taylor or tyler. even steve. i fell back onto the bed and cried myself to sleep.

i woke up at 11:56pm. i had been asleep for 12 hours. i crept out of my room, sniffling occasionally, and found my mom asleep in her bed. i went to the bathroom and did my business. as i was washing my hands, i looked in the mirror. "you're so ugly." i said, quietly.

i went into the bathtub and sat down, crying softly. i grabbed the razor and looked at it for a second. "this is what you deserve, ada." i say.

i knick up and down my left arm 3 times which leaves 3 sets of 5 lines. they bleed but i step out of the bathtub and stop the bleeding with toilet paper. i walk back to my room. the pain takes my mind off of tyler as i cry and cry and cry.