Mahabharata

2. Satyavati

A nymph named Adrika was trying to break the meditation of a sage (forgot his name, sorry) and his meditation got disturbed. He opened his eyes and cursed her, "I curse you that you will become a fish on this planet."

Adrika got afraid and pleaded, "Please forgive me. My lord, God Indra ordered me to disturb you or his rule in heaven would come in danger."

The sage sighed. He knew that it was not her fault. She was just following the orders of her master and this was not the first time when lord Indra tried to disturb meditation of any sage because he was right on his own place or the rule of the gods would be in danger but the sage couldn't rewind his curse. So, he modified his curse, "You will be freed from this curse when you give birth to two children."

Nymph Adrika turns into a fish and becomes confused. How can she give birth when she is a fish? But she has faith on the sage. King Vasu of Chedi decided to go hunting. When he was leaving, his Queen said that she was aroused because of her periods but he didn't have enough time to spend with her. So, he had to leave. He closed his eyes and remembered his Queen, ejaculating on a leaf. He wrapped his sperm neatly and sent that to his Queen through an eagle to show her how much he remembered her.

On the way, another eagle saw that eagle and thought that it was food. He attacked the eagle and the leaf fell down. Adrika, now in the form of fish leapt and ate that leaf. After nine months,  the chief fisherman of mahajanapad (there were twelve main Kingdome or mahajanapad then. Hastinapur was one of those mahajanapad) Matsya caught Adrika and when he was cutting her, he found two twins in her stomach, a boy and a girl. The fish immediately disappeared. The chief was confused but then gifted that child to his heirless king and kept the girl to himself.

Satyavati was an extremely beautiful woman. The only problem was that she used to smell like a fish. You could smell that smell from miles afar. That's why she was also called Matsyagandha (one who smelled like a fish). She was the daughter of a normal fisherman. One day, while she was taking sage Parashar across the river, he gets a boner. He got confused. It was highly unlike him to get a boner like that. After all, he was a sage. His senses were always under his control, unless there had to be a divine intervention. He closed his eyes and saw that it was time for his son's birth. He looked at Satyavati and caught her thoughts about her smell.

He promised her, "I want to have sex with you right now. There is a small piece of land in the middle of this river. I will cover it with thick mist. You will deliver the child then itself, without having to wait for nine months and you will not lose your virginity too. This smell that you are sad about will turn into a fragrant smell that people can smell from afar. From then, you will be called Gandhavati (one who smells divine).

Satyavati readily agreed. That's how, sage Vyasa, the writer of Mahabharata was born. The presence of Mahabharata today is the evidence of this fucked up story. Google who is the writer of the Mahabharata and you will see who is the writer of the Mahabharata is.