𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑙𝑦 • ⚣ (ᴍ.ᴘ 𝘅 ᴋ.ᴄ)

008 - ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ

mattia read the word "connecting..." under kairi's name before he popped up. he was sitting against his bed and he had his led lights turned to green.

mattia just watched kairi for a second. he took in everything about him, the quality of the call was horrible but mattia didn't care at all. seeing him was what he wanted. he needed his kairi.

my kairi.

"what do you want, mattia?" kairi's voice oozed with aggression. mattia felt like he had been slapped through the phone. when he opened his mouth to say something, anything, nothing came out. his brain wasn't working at all. "mattia?" kairi sounded even more annoyed than before. mattia felt like shit.

it's your fault.

"i'm sorry, kairi." was all mattia could say. he thought getting drunk would help him stop think but it only made it worse. his thoughts ripped and scratched in his brain like a dog on the door of its home. half the time, he started crying and he didn't even realize. "i'm so fucking sorry." mattia repeated.

he didn't care if kairi was with the boys either. he would tell the whole world he was sorry if he could. "i-i did some thinking kai and i can't do this." mattia tripped over his own words, he was starting to breakdown. "i thought if i had someone who would comfort me and play with my hair and, and be there i would be okay; but i realized, that person is you." mattia choked out a sob. tears flowed down his face in uneven streams. his eyes stung and felt as if they were burning.

kairi still hadn't said anything. that was killing him. inside and out. "your all i need kairi, to survive. you're my everything. the past few weeks without you have been the longest few weeks of m-my life!" mattia's voice started to raise the more upset he got. "i forget things an-and i do thing wrong all the time!" his words began to mash together, still understandable, barely.

"i don't know what i did and maybe that's a bad thing. but whatever i did, i'm sorry bubba. i miss you so much. m-more than i've ever missed anyone. i don't want you to hate me anymore, because i'll never stop loving you." mattia's voice was quiet, small. he was pretty sure he had gotten everything he needed out.

he'll never love you, never again.

he hates you.

mattia looked back at his phone. he couldn't bare to see kairi anymore. he didn't want to look at him because when he did, it fucked with his head. so, he hung up. before kairi could even get a word out.

mattia lip quivered before he let out a painful scream into the silence of this room. mattia started to cry again. hard. his head was pounding and he couldn't even think. his skin felt like it was burning— he ripped off his hood and the t-shirt he was wearing his one fast paced movement.

mattia fell back onto bed he faced the ceiling again and grabbed a pillow, holding it the way he would kairi.

my arms around his waist.

mattia's body bounced to the beat of his silent sobs. his heart was beating rapidly and he felt like he couldn't breathe. he only pulled the pillow closer to himself and continued to cry.

"mattia?"

a/n: mattia is a broken boy. 🥺🖐🏽 thank you for reading!! ily 🤍 n e ways don't forget to drink some water and wash you hands!!
-el

ᵏⁱˡˡ

❝ just let me hold you like a hostage. ❞