My Heart Belongs To You|The Jodeci Collection|Aaliyah & Devante Swing

Chapter 5::When Sunny Gets Blue

Back home, a place I didn't think I'd be going anytime soon. It's been two weeks since Lashawn died and his funeral was being held in his hometown, Baltimore Maryland. Everybody from Death Row was here. Lashawn died September 13,1995 during a shootout. He had been out of jail for only a week after an early release.

I hadn't shed one tear since I found out he died. Part me was sad because I loved him at one point. The other side was happy. I was always scared of Lashawn getting out and tying to ruin my life. Now he's dead and he can't hurt me anymore.

We were at his mother Afeni's house. The living room was decorated with his grammys, plaques and old pictures. I was cradling one in my hand, a picture of me and him. I just so happened to the see the picture as we walked into the house, it was hung up on the wall. Everything for the past two weeks have been very depressing.

It took a lot for me to to finally get out my bed just so I could get on the plane to get here. I was grateful for Devante because he was giving me my space while I moped around. I then felt a tap on my thigh, I looked down seeing Calvin holding a plate a plate of food. I chuckled, "Thank you baby"I said, grabbing the plate. "Daddy told me to bring it to you, he said you should eat"he said.

I chuckled as I looked behind me, already know he was there. He smiled lightly, walking to me. "You need to eat Jamila, it's been a week"He said, sitting next to me. "Devante you know I don't have an appetite"I said. "Come on, something small"He said. I sighed, looking down at the plate.

There was a small scoop of potato salad and greens. I sighed, "Thank you"I said, smiling lightly. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. I took small bites before I realized that I couldn't eat anything. I eventually gave Calvin my plate.

He sat on Devante's lap and Devante sat next to me. I was still holding the picture while Devante rubbed my shoulder. Afeni came into the room, everyone became quiet. There was a woman next to her, holding her hand. She look awfully familiar but I couldn't put my finger on who she was.

I had never met Lashawn's mom but I heard the no matter what was going on, she was always smiling. He wasn't wrong because she came into the room with a huge small on her face, the woman next to her not so much. She stood in the middle of the room, everyone looked towards her. "I'm very glad that all of Lashawn's family is here to send him home. I know some of you didn't have the best relationship with my sun but I hope you know that appreciate you putting aside your differences to celebrate him one last time"she said.

Everyone clapped as she smiled, starting to say her hellos to everybody. The woman followed her around, saying hellos to people. I looked closer, trying to figure out where I know her from. Afeni than came to me, a smile on her face. I wasn't sure if she knew who I was or not.

I stood up, a few tears slipped from her eyes. She pulled me into a hug, rubbing my hair. "I know who you are and I'm sorry for everything he did to you"she whispered. I pulled away, putting a smile on my face. "You don't have to apologize, I've gotten past it Mrs Shakur"I said.

"Oh, call me Afeni. Everyone else does"she said. I smiled, "Well, introduce me to this family of yours"she said. I turned to Devante. "This is my boyfriend Devante, my son Calvin and my younger sister Kidada"I said, looking at the woman next to her. I had finally recognized who she was.

When I was young, my dad had an affair with a random lady he knew from high school. Kidada was the product of that. Me and Kidada were like two peas in a pod. As a child, I hated being home. Because of that, I would always ask my nanny to bring me to Caren's house, Kidada's mom.

Mrs Perry was the sweetest lady ever, at one point I started calling her mom. Then my parents found out and banned me from ever seeing her again. She looked so different now so I could barely recognize her. "I missed you JJ"she said, pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back, already feeling close to her again.

I pulled away as she smiled, I missed my sister. Afeni smiled brightly, "See, today isn't so bad. He have sister reunion"she said. I smiled, grabbing Kidada's hand. "Why don't y'all go out on the patio, catch up a little bit"she said. I looked back at Devante who was holding Calvin's hand.

"Go ahead, Calvin probably wants to go play with the other kids"he said. I smiled as I kissed his cheek. "Great, I'll bring out a bie and some tea for y'all"she said, heading towards the kitchen. Me and Kidada went on the patio, sitting while watching the kids run around in the open yard. A little bit later, Afeni came out as she promised with a full sweet potato pie and a tea pot.

As soon as she left, Kidada dug into the pie, cutting a huge piece. I poured myself a cup of tea since I still didn't have an appetite. She was already done with her second piece when she spoke. "Hey, Afeni's pie is famous in this neighborhood, people would kill for this. I suggest you get a piece before I eat the rest"she said, I chuckled.

Kidada was always eating. I grabbed a plate and cut a piece. I took a small bite, moaning from the taste. She was right, it was amazing. "I told you, you will never find and pie like Afeni Shakur's, has so much love and passion in it. It reminds me of when my mom used to cook"she said, looking down.

"Speaking of your mom, how is she"she said. She cleared her throat, "Um, mama died a little bit after we split. Had been fighting cancer on and off for years. With daddy's crap and your mom trying to get her thrown in jail. It took a toll on her"she said. My parents were evil people. My dad especially. My dad was trying to expose Caren fore being a slut and because of that, he believed that he wasn't Kidada's father.

It was a stupid accusation because all of Jason Stevens' kids look like him. You couldn't tell me I wasn't my father's daughter. The only thing I got from my mom was my hair and eyes. On top of that, my mom hated that Caren was tacking care of me so to get back at her and the child she hated(Kidada), she tried to press charges on Caren for assault. The truth was,they were old beatings from my father.

"KK, I hope you know I'm so sorry about what daddy and my mom did. I wish I could've done something" I said. "JJ, you and me both know we couldn't do anything. We were babies, the adults had to deal with that"she said. I smiled lightly, looking out at the kids who were playing. "So, my big sister has a whole family. How's motherhood treating you"she said. I smiled, "Amazing, Calvin is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me"I said.

"I heard about everything that happened with him and his father, and the real mother. Is that true"she said. I sighed, I got this question all the time. "Yea, I stepped up. She skipped down and I knew Devante was struggling so I swallowed my pride and became a mother at 20"I said. "Yea, me too. I was just a little bit younger"she said, finishing the rest of the pie. I turned to her, "What happened"I said. "Let's just say, I was Lashawn's first victim"she said.

"Wait, what"I said. "After mama died, I was placed in foster care. Daddy didn't want bring me in and I didn't have any family. When I was 14, I ran away and met Lashawn. We took me in and him and Afeni took care of me. I fell for him and we got engaged. He had already had a baby before he met me so I became a mother at like 16. It was stupid but I loved him and I thought this was what I was supposed to do. Then we moved out and into an apartment. He got big and started showering me in all of these gifts, that's when he started hitting me. Everyone knew about it but did nothing. Eventually, I packed up my things, my baby and I left. I had nowhere to go. I was 17, out of school and broke. Two months after I left, they took her away. After about a year, I found out Lashawn left to go to LA and Afeni asked if I wanted to stay with her. Since then I've been living here trying to get my life together"she said. I sighed, I thought I had it the worst. "Kidada I'm so sorry, I never knew you had to go through that"I said. "What he did to you was just as bad Jamila, putting you in the hospital because he almost killed you. Trying to kill you again. That's horrible"she said.

"I guess we both done been through some things"I said. I guess I'm not the only one who has been through hell. I'm glad I finally have my little sister back.