The Underground - 3RACHA

40

Jisung had been keeping track of his appointments with Dr Song and it was currently his seventh session. Overall, it wasn't that long but he felt like he had made progress since he started and Chan was trying to help him a lot more too, but the thought of the rap contest the next day was still terrifying.

"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" Dr Song asked, leaning back in his chair and examining Jisung who was staring at the edge of his desk, nibbling on his bottom lip as if he didn't know what to say. "You're prepared, aren't you?"

"Yes, I've been working on it for weeks."

"That's good," Dr Song nodded, "I can see you still have some anxieties though. What is the worst-case scenario for tomorrow, Jisung?"

"The...the worst?" Jisung mumbled, eyes falling to his hands in his lap, "well, I guess it would be if I choked or messed up and Chan and Changbin were angry at me. Maybe if they didn't talk to me again or maybe...maybe if they did something like Hyunjin would."

"What would Hyunjin do?"

Jisung was violently gnawing away at his bottom lip. There were so many possibilities. "I don't know...maybe he'd hit me. I know he'd be furious and shout a lot. He would want to make me cry."

"Would Chan or Changbin do that to you?"

Jisung didn't have to think about his answer, "no, they'd never do that...I don't think."

"And what is the best-case scenario?"

Jisung stopped chewing on his lip, a small but certain smile displaying itself on his face, "I don't choke or mess up and we're able to win the competition together."

"Which of these situations is more likely?"

Jisung knitted his brows together. The answer was obvious to him. "The best-case scenario. Chan and Changbin are two of the best rappers at The Underground."

"Then what is it that's causing you so much anxiety?"

"I guess...the crowd," Jisung admitted, gulping at the thought, "there are so many people who will be staring at me. They will all be able to see if I make a mistake and they can criticise me or make fun of me as much as they want."

Dr Song leaned forwards, his arms resting on his desk as he examined Jisung who still hadn't made eye contact with him the whole session. "Jisung," he said, gaining the young boy's attention and finally meeting his eyes. "The majority of us deal with stage fright but I'm going to give you one of the oldest tricks in the book, ok?"

"Ok," Jisung nodded.

"Imagine the audience is naked," Dr Song said with such a serious voice that Jisung couldn't help but start buckling over in laughter. A grin started to break across Dr Song's face that usually remained so serious but for once he let it slide. He hadn't heard Jisung laugh before, he'd only seen him with nerves radiating off him like heat.

"Does that- does it help?" Jisung asked once he had calmed down and could manage to get his words out again.

Dr Song sat back in his chair while shrugging his shoulders, "I guess we'll find out if you come back for another session next Thursday or not. You'll be travelling to L.A. if you win, correct?"

"Correct," Jisung confirmed.

"Well, I wish you the best. Now, we have half an hour left so how about we try some more relaxation techniques?"

-

Jisung couldn't decide how he felt when he walked into The Underground that Friday evening. He didn't know if he wanted to run to the bathroom and throw up or if he wanted to excitedly bounce up and down. Part of him wanted to run away and the other part wanted to give this his best shot, his fight or flight battling with one another.