bleeding tears

Bad news

Beca's POV:

I heard someone knocking at the door of my room. "It musst be a doctor", I thought. I heard the person coming in and I slowly opened my eyes. I couldn't believe what I saw.
A female doctor, with red, long hair and big, turquoise-blue eyes was standing in front of my bed. She looked gorgeous and so young. I answered all her questions and let her examine me when the pain suddenly kicked in. I groaned as I felt it running through my whole body. "Miss Mitchell, where does it hurt?", the redhead asked, coming closer. "Everywhere", I managed to whisper and tried to relax.

"I already gave you something against the pain, it should help soon", Doctor Beale clarified. "Could you follow my finger with your eyes please", she said quietly and came closer to my face. She shone into my eyes with a little flashlight and moved her finger from the left to the right, up and down. I did what she told me to do. I could feel her breath on my skin and nothing had ever made me feel this safe. "Alright Miss Mitchell", she conveyed and put on a serious face, "there's something else I have to tell you."

I was confused. A scary silence filled the room. Okay...spill it", I finally broke the silence, sounding tough, not knowing what was about to come. "You are suffering from heart failure...that means your heart muscle isn't strong enough to pump enough blood through your body anymore and since the damage is already pretty huge, there is nothing I can do. You need a new heart and you need it as soon as possible because the one you are carrying inside of your body now...could give up any second...", the young doctor explained carefully, seeming to be quite nervous.

I was speechless, not in a good way as obvious. I swallowed when I felt tears building in my eyes. That wasn't common for me. I never cried. A tear dropped and I wiped it away immediately, hoping she hadn't seen it. "I know it's hard. I'm so so sorry. If I could I would do more for you.
I already called UNOS and let you put on the list for a heart transplant. All we can do now is hope and wait", I heard her voice right next me but it sounded so far away because I had got lost in my own thoughts.

"Do you want me to call anyone?", this sentence brought me back to reality. My parents were dead, my brother in another country. The only person I could think of was my best friend Amy. She was the only person I had. But I didn't want her to worry so much, not yet. "No thank you, I'm fine", I replied and my eyes caught the cast on my left arm. "Oh don't worry about that, it's gonna heal, as well as the wounds on your legs", Doctor Beale expressed happily, „in some way you can be glad about your accident. It made us find out about your heart failure and gave us a chance to help you with a heart transplant."

I nodded in agreement. "I will leave you alone for now. If you need something or if anything's up you can just press this red button and you will be helped", the female pointed at a red button on the side of my bed. "Okay, thank you doctor", I responded and tried to smile. "I wish you a good night", she whispered and smiled back at me before she headed out of the room and closed the door behind her.

I was tired but sleeping seemed to be impossible even though the pain really got less.
The shock was stuck in my veins. I always thought I was perfectly healthy, I never had any obvious problems.
But life is unpredictable.

I grabbed my phone and decided to text check up on my best friend.

Me: Hey Ams, what's up?
                                      sent 21:13

Amy: Mitchell! I'm finishing the last piece        of cheescake wbu?     
                                      sent 9:14pm

Me: Not surprised. I'm just chilling at home
                                      sent 9:14pm

Amy: Want me to come over?
                                    sent 9:15pm

Me: Nah, I'm tired. Going to sleep.
Goodnight xx
                                     sent 9:16pm

Amy: You are definitely missing out on something ;) Goodnight sleepy ass
                                      sent 9:16pm

I felt bad about lying to Amy but I really wasn't ready to tell her.

I wanted to turn around in order to sleep on my side but I was connected to machines and cables which made it pretty impossible.
"Oh boy", I sighed and closed my tired eyes...