bleeding tears

A mistake

Chloe's POV:

"Chloe what have you done", Doctor Grey shouted. Liters of blood were spurting out of the patient's chest. I stood there in shock staring at the woman's body. My scalpel dropped to the floor and the world around me became quiet.

Everything disappeared for a moment and the only thing I could see was the patient's body lying on the operating table in front of me, covered in blood. "Doctor Beale!Move! Do something!", Meredith yelled at me while she and Arizona were trying to stop the bleeding. When my vision became normal again, I found myself in the OR, full off doctors and nurses rushing around me.

I had cut too deep and at the the wrong place into the woman's chest and had damaged important arteries and veins leading to and away from the heart.
When I had caught myself I fearfully but professionally helped stopping the bleeding and luckily was able to repair the damage I had caused before the patient would have passed away.

After the surgery was done Arizona came up to me with a serious face. "What the hell Chloe", she sounded annoyed, "can you explain?" I shrugged. "Never in your whole career you have made a mistake of this kind. You are a perfect surgeon!", the blonde stated and crossed her arms in front of her body. "Mistakes can happen to anyone", I defended myself and wanted to walk away but Arizona grabbed my arm. "Yes everybody makes mistakes but this wasn't just a mistake...you almost killed that woman", she threw out, "and such mistakes don't just happen to you, there must be a reason behind it." - "Babe listen, I've just had a bad day, okay? There's n...", I wanted to explain but I got interrupted: "You seem to have a lot of these lately!"

I inhaled deeply. I was about to open my mouth but my girlfriend did before. "I feel like you don't want to be with me anymore. You are being cold, you are being emotionless. You are pushing me away and you are avoiding me. Don't think I didn't notice", she spoke angrily with disappointment in her eyes.

"This has nothing to do with you, believe me. I didn't mean to treat you the way I did. I've just been having a few bad days but that doesn't have any particular reason", I exclaimed convincing, "I love you."
My words made her relax and I kept talking: "there isn't always a reason for a person's actions. That's something you have to learn to understand."

I couldn't believe that I had just lied to my own girlfriend.

I knew damn well that it was because of Beca, even what happened in the OR.

I pulled her into a hug and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm sorry", I whispered, "how about I make it up to you?"
I took her by the hand and pulled her into the on-call room. "I don't have time for make up sex right now", she said, „I have three moms up there who are about to give birth but thank you for the offer." - "Always", I responded and our ways separated.

I am such a bad person. Arizona didn't deserve that but I couldn't help it. Beca was at fault, but she wasn't the one to blame either.

Without realizing I made my way straight to Beca's room, to tell her about the recent events. I just had to. She was like a magnet, even if hardly knew her.

Beca's POV:

I was scrolling through instagram when there was a knock at the door and seconds later a red-haired doctor entered the room. She looked exhausted. "How was surgery?", I asked kindly.

I looked right into her eyes and I could see them filling with tears. "Chloe hey, what's up? What happened?", I wanted to know and got worried, "come here, sit down and tell me about it." Just like yesterday there was a moment of hesitation before she sunk onto the bed. I opened my arms and to my surprise the redhead laid her head onto my chest, even though the day before she would pull away when our arms touched, and started sobbing.

Immediately I wrapped my arms around her. "Shh it's okay", I tried to comfort her and slightly rocked her from side to side, "I'm here."

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