bleeding tears

Pure intention

Chloe's POV:

My eyes were fixed on the wall behind Beca.

"Come on, talk to me", the brunette said, raising her voice slightly.

Eventually I gave in and let myself down on her bed. I started explaining everything, beginning in my teenage years.

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about that. But what about now? How did you fall into this dark hole again?", she asked politely and took my right hand into hers.

"Beca, I've lost everything. My job, my girlfriend, my friends, my will to live. I also lost you because I thought it'd be better if I just forgot about you but there hasn't gone a day by on which I didn't think of you and worried myself to death about you. I didn't dare to come back because I didn't want you to see how weak all this has made me. There are voices in my head. This illness has never been gone. I just learned to control it and right now it's completely out of control", my voice cracked.

"Hey hey shhh. We will get through this alright? I'm here for you", the girl made sure and took me in her arms. "But why? I just left. I've hurt you", I cried, almost panicking. "Yes, you've hurt me but you mean a lot to me. I forgive you, Chlo", she whispered and stroked my head, "I'm glad you came back."

We were just lying there for a couple of minutes without anyone saying a word until Beca broke the silence again: "I would like to get you professional help as well." I lifted my head and looked her in the eyes. "Is that really necessary?", I wanted to know and wiped my wet cheeks. "It is. I don't want you to go to a clinic but therapy at least. This can't go on", her words sounded worried. I nodded in agreement. I felt so safe in her arms that I didn't even know how I had managed to be without her.

"I know a good therapist. She's a friend of mine and she's really nice, believe me. I will call her and make an appointment for you okay?", Beca pointed out. "Thank you", I mouthed and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Seconds later her lips were on mine.

I broke the kiss and stood up. "I really don't want to get caught again. I mean, you're not my patient anymore, so technically it's no problem but everybody here already hates and I don't want to cause any more problems", I excused myself, "so I better get going now. I will visit you again tomorrow."
Beca made a sad face and I had to smile.
"I'm a little bit scared letting you go and stay home alone", she admitted.
"I'll be alright", I clarified and waved at her. "Wait. Promise me you will eat something and please unblock me. If anything is up, even if it's only the tiniest thing, you call me instantly", the sick brunette ordered. I promised before I made my way out.

As I exited the hospital, I saw Arizona walking towards me. She must have been on her way to her night shift. The blonde walked passed me and I stumbled over her leg. She kept walking but I was able to hear her laugh. This had been pure intention...

I was really tired when I wrote this...so I'm not really proud of it. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes :/