bleeding tears

A big step

Beca's POV:

I wanted to give up. I wanted to let go. I wanted to get away from all this pain.
What if I just stopped breathing? The world wouldn't be any different without me , right? I was so tired. I couldn't move any of my body parts. I felt my heart beating slowly and irregular.
It was the end.

Chloe's POV:

I watched Beca and I recognized her trying to give up.

That's where my good sense left me. It was the middle of the night. I sneaked out of the door and searched for all the things I could possibly need, in the whole hospital. Then I went to the room where the transplants where kept. It was locked but luckily I still knew the code. I looked right and left making sure nobody saw me. I went in and searched for the white box with Beca's name on it.

"Leon Camp, Marvin White", I read the names on the different boxes. "Beca Mitchell. There it is", I said to myself and grabbed it without hestitation.

When I got back to the girl I put away the blanket and switched on the lights. I needed as much light as possible.

"Honey, I will put you under anesthesia and then I will save you", I announced and gave her a deep kiss. Then I narcotized her. I didn't have a lot of the remedy so I didn't have much time until she'd wake up again.

Once she was asleep tightly,
I disinfected my hands and took the scalpel into my right hand. My fingers trembled. "This has to work. I can't lose her and I can't afford fucking this up. Chloe you are a good doctor. You have transplanted dozens of hearts. You know the procedure. You can do it without OR and assistance", I reminded myself and took a deep breath.

I placed the blade on the brunette's chest. And cut.

Immediately my hands were covered in blood. I hadn't found gloves so my bare hands had to do. Carefully and kind of knowing what I was doing I operated the damaged and weak heart out of Beca's chest.
I held it into my hands. "Why couldn't you be enough", I mumbled and placed it into the white box next to the transplant, before taking this one out.
Skillfully I led it slid into her empty chest.
I had only 10 minutes left before the anesthesia faded.
Fast and hopeful I stitched the heart in place.

This was the moment of truth. My eyes were fixated on the lightly red organ, waiting for it to start beating. "Come on", I muttered, "work."
I placed my hands on it and softly started massaging. "Beat, please", I said, a little bit louder now.

As if the heart had heard my words, the blood started flowing through the veins, turning it into a darker shade of red and only seconds later I noticed little, regular beats. A moment of joy overcame me.

There was hardly any time left so without another moment of waiting I closed her and wrapped her chest in a bandage.
I wiped away all of the blood and washed my hands. Then I put back on Beca's clothes. Mine were covered in blood stains.
I covered her with her blanket and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, before I cleaned the tools I had used. "Holy fuck, I'm so dead as soon as this comes out", I whispered to myself. I brought back all the things, excluding the box with the damaged heart. I kept that one here in Beca's room, otherwise it could only cause more trouble.

Now I had to wait for her to wake up, hoping her body wouldn't reject the new organ...