bleeding tears

Empty

possible trigger-warning

Chloe's POV:

Weeks passed and all I could think about was the brown-haired, blue-eyed girl who had stolen my heart. I was worrying about her and I didn't even know if she was still alive since I didn't dare to contact or visit her. It was killing me.

I was sitting on the sofa, scrolling through the internet, trying to find any job offers when I started to feel hungry. I went to the kitchen and made myself some bread with marmalade. I tried to eat it but I couldn't. My mind didn't let me. It was full of worry and bad thoughts. Thoughts I shouldn't be thinking about.

This had been going on for a while. I felt myself becoming skinnier from day to day. My weight kept dropping and I couldn't really do anything about it.

All I wanted was to be in her arms. I wanted to feel her close to me. I wanted to hear her voice and I wanted her lips against mine. I knew it was wrong to want that. I knew I had to forget about her. But deep down she was everything I wanted.

I felt alone. I felt empty. I felt lost. Everything was heavy. Every little move seemed to be so exhausting and my motivation was gone.

I switched off my laptop and laid down. I was staring at the white ceiling wondering if things would ever be okay again. It felt like everything was going into the wrong direction, like a train on it's way to the edge of a cliff and I wasn't able to stop it or hop off.

But most of the time I was feeling numb and this feeling of numbness was more dangerous than anything else. It made me want to feel things and the only thing I could make myself feel was pain. That's how I began falling into old habbits.

My phone rang and I almost jumped. For a moment I had hoped it'd be Beca but then I remembered that it couldn't be. I glanced at the screen. It was Meredith.
"Hey Beale, it's Mer", she greeted me.
"Oh hey", I was surprised since it was the first time she was calling me since the day I got fired. "I'm sorry I didn't call. I was so busy with work. Actually I just wanted to let you know that I found some more clothes of you. They were in my locker because of that one day you had forgotten your key. I will place them on the table in the attending's room. You can cone pick them up the next days", she explained and didn't sound that happy.
"Ah ok, thanks, I will", I responded.
"Okay then, bye", she announced and before I could say anything back Doctor Grey had hung up.

Was she serious? First of all she hadn't even called me once those last weeks until now and now she's called me only to tell me I have forgotten something at my old work place? I thought she was my friend. I thought she'd be here for me. I didn't think anything could ever change something about our friendship. Obviously I had been wrong.

I was debating on whether to drive to the hospital right now in order to get it done or to wait until tomorrow.
I decided to go immediately and dragged myself into the car...

Drop a comment :)