bleeding tears

Letting go is hard

Chloe's POV:

"I...I...am...what?", I stuttered.

"You are fired", Bailey repeated.

"You can't fire me! Not because of such a little mistake", I protested and stood up, looking her right into the eyes.

"A little mistake?", she wondered and laughed sarcastically, "I can't believe it, Doctor Beale! This was a huge mistake! Yes, it hurts losing you, since you are by far the best in this hospital but I have no choice. So please grab all of your stuff and leave."

Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I had lost my job.
I loved this job. I have learned so much during the last years in this hospital. I have met amazing people.
I didn't want it to be over. And what about Beca?

I left the chief's office and headed to the attending's room. There I took all my things out of my locker and changed into my normal clothes. I sat down and let the flashbacks hit me. All those things that had happened here.

I wasn't sure whether to visit Beca before I left or not. I had been rude towards her. All this wasn't her fault.
I should apologize to her or maybe I should try and forget about her, since this was the best opportunity to do so.

With tears in my eyes I left the building and hopped into my car. It was already dark outside and I glanced at the illuminated windows of the hospital. I knew exactly which window was the one of Beca's room.
I broke down. Tears started flooding my face and I couldn't keep quiet. I screamed out all the pain. This place had been what was keeping me steady all those years. It's where I met my first love and where I understood what friendship really meant.
Grey-Sloan Memorial had given me a purpose. Now I was forced to let it go.

When I had dried my tears a little I started the engine of my car. With a feeling of numbness I was driving through the night.
The streetlights were shining bright, almost blinding me.

When I parked in front of my house I got out of the car and searched for the keys in my bag. I couldn't find them. After 10 minutes of searching I found them in my jacket.
I was inside when I reached for my phone in the backpocket of my jeans.

Me: I got fired. I'm sorry for everything.
         I wish you all the best.
        And I'll keep praying for a transplant.
        You lit up my world...
        but you are not good for me.
        It's better better if we go separate ways.
        I'm sorry. Stay strong.

I hesitated to press 'send'. Was this really supposed to be the end? Did I really want to let her go?
I clicked the arrow and the message was sent. I took a deep breath before I blocked and deleted her contact from my phone...