My Guardian

Chapter 26

I needed this. A gentle breeze teases the leaves above my head, rustling the slowly dying leaves as they start to change colors. The warmth of the sun kisses my skin, my fingers touch my guitar, warmed to nature. Its familiarness calms the madness in my mind. I can lose myself in silence finally. I haven't really been able to enjoy the lack of my mother's ranting calls. A small part of me feels guilty for enjoying the silence. The freedom.

In reality, I don't think I could handle her mouth and snake like tongue in my ear. Harsh for your own mother. She never raised a hand to me, never congratulated me, or really cared to get to know me as a human. Just the version of me she wanted me to be. Her world had to be precise, built just the way she wanted so she could view it through a stained glass window. One to obscure dirt and grime of anything that'd inconvenience her. I wonder if she knows the real Martin? The question makes my eyes open, frowning.

Of course she doesn't, Martin, while a family friend never lets them get into his 'inner circle'. Could they be targeted? I frown at the thought, no longer sure of the extent he'd go to. Though, I'm sure he's aware that they aren't a soft spot for me. But clearly, I never knew Martin as well as I thought I did. How ironic? My fingers pluck at the strings of my guitar aimlessly, staring over the water in thought. The idle action gives my ever running mind a rhythm to follow.

Where would I be without Snake? Snake has been the sole reason this shit storm has flown as smooth as it has. Funny, that this is considered smooth. Realistically, I barely have skills to keep myself alive- even that is debatable by most people's standards. I'm not capable of in-depth searches, I can't brainstorm ideas like they have. I'm too innocent in my mind. My first instinct would be to call the police and pray they can do their job- or just scare them off. How bad did the police hurt these people?

I haven't had the courage to ask Angel, nor do I think I'll ever find the courage to do so. Something bad happened between the club and the police, I never really noticed how they avoided one another. It's pretty obvious now that I've had it pointed out. Angel's gone tense the few times she's in town with me for a girl's lunch. More so when a siren goes off. It makes more sense now, even if the details aren't clear. Not sure I really want to know the details.

It must've been bad either way. Focus on your own problems, not past history. My finger strummed along the familiar string, caressing the warm metal to create a soft and familiar song. My eyes shut as I hum the words, the warmth of the sun and warmth of the sweet song makes me feel as if I can breathe a sigh. Not of relief. My mind is only silent for a moment before my own reality comes creeping back to my thoughts. Invasive, horribly invasive.

This road trip has changed my life in more ways than I ever thought. Granted, some for the good... most has just been a bad added bonus. Do I regret it? No, logically, I can't regret it; do I pray that this nightmare of scary threats and drama will end? Absolutely. But then I wouldn't have a sexy biker... boyfriend? Friends with Benefits? Another question in my mind. He did say he wanted me. But was that to sleep with me? It's laughable to me, to think of myself as some sort of wild sexual fantasy.

Because what man doesn't want a financially irresponsible woman? Who leaves her life on a whim. Now? Now I just float through life. Not like you can make any concrete plans on what to do at the moment. Snake has been a major influence on me in the recent weeks. He likes to live life to the fullest, taking it by the horns and just going. I always imagined I'd fined a man with all of his life tucked away neatly.

Planned out to a 'T'. And Snake came along and shook that idea, right out of the tree. I smile at the idea, the thought that he was the one to change my perspective, is fitting. Why couldn't we have met at a better time? Now feels like a mistake- like it's laughable to be in his arms at night. A mockery of life. Good things come at bad times. Maybe it's to live more. To enjoy the moment.