Janto - One shots -Time will heal all wounds.

He Thinks Nothing Of Me.

Ianto's POV

'But you're a copper you are trained to ask questions.' Owen said. I knew where this was going. It was going to be an awkward conversation. I almost interject but then I decide that Owen won't listen to me anyway. He never does. I'm just the teaboy to them.

'You don't know anything?' Gwen asked almost like we should know everything about him. Surely, she has been here long enough to find out that we know about as much as her.

'Not who he is. Not where he is from. Nothing. Except... him being gay.' Owen stated the last part of that sentence like it was fact like somehow, he already knew. What if Jack and Owen are a thing. Jack never seemed to flirt with Owen the way he flirts with everyone else it's like... Well to be totally honest I don't know what it's like. Almost as though he flirts with him so much outside of the office that he didn't really need to do it in the office, almost like he was... saving it for later. Owen was always the first one to leave whenever Jack said we could go home. Don't be stupid Ianto, I say to myself. Owen takes his comms out as soon as he leaves and every time, I stay here overnight to get something done I never see him and me staying overnight seems to happen more and more frequently. It's easier, my home doesn't feel like a home, I'm never there so it feels pointless putting loads of furniture into it and painting all the walls nice colours. The only place I truly feel at home is when I'm with Jack. Normally, I stay and clean until well after everyone else has gone home except Jack. He never really seems to leave the hub. I know his home is here, but you would think he might get out every now and again, not out for a mission but to go and see people other than us. But he always seems to be at his desk, paperwork always piles up around him almost barricading him. Sometimes I bring him coffee before I go if I know he is going to be pulling an all-nighter. In fairness, I've started keeping some spare suits at the hub, so I don't have to go home. It feels wrong leaving him at the hub all by himself. At Least having the suits makes me seem more presentable, so people don't notice I have stayed. Jack never seems to notice. If I do go home, I typically don't stay very long. It's like I need to be at the hub. Do I need to be at the hub, or do I need to be near him? That's a question I need to find the answer to.

Gwen interrupted my chain of thought with her exclamation of disbelief. 'No, he's not. Really do you think?' Gwen seems almost taken aback by Owen's comments. Like there is no way in hell he is. The look of disbelief was the one I had on my face when Owen first said that he thought Jack was gay not long after I started. I never really knew if that look was from hope that my dream could be true or the fact that I thought Owen must be lying to get back at me.

'No' Tosh said almost as a whisper 'Owen does' she said louder. 'I don't.' The certainty in her voice makes me lose hope a little. I so wanted him to be. I know that sounds selfish of me, but I want him. I need him.

'And I don't care.' I said tagging on to the end of tosh's sentence.

Why would I say that? Why would I say I didn't care when I clearly did? It was written all over my face. The care I have for him. Owen stares at me. No, he can't know about how I feel. I've tried to hide it for so long. I turn my attention back to my noodles. I think about all the times he laughed at me about all the times he made me stay in his office that little bit longer after I brought him his coffee. But I just need to accept that this was never going to be a thing. Yes, I know Jack flirts with me, but he flirts with everyone, right? Most of them flirt right back just like I do. That doesn't mean he loves me. He hasn't stopped flirting with Gwen since she got here. I so wish he would flirt that hard with me, I really do. But he thinks nothing of me. I know I'm just a teaboy but surely one day he will notice me. This connection it's not like one I've had before; it's certainly not like that one I had with Lisa. I've completely zoned out of the conversation at this point.

I lift my head just as tosh says. 'I've watched him in action, he will stag anything if he thinks it is gorgeous enough'. I ponder if I am gorgeous enough for him? Who knows?

Jack's POV

I wandered into the 'bathroom', really, I just needed an excuse to get away from them. I want them to get the usual quizzing over and done with. I know they will ask Gwen what she thinks, and can she pick anything up about me. I really want to listen at the door. I'm intrigued to hear what people will stay well maybe not people, maybe just one. I decide I need to stay. I need to know where I stand and if we could have a future. I want to know what he thinks of me. I know he is still upset about the death of his girlfriend, but I need him to say something. Say anything, then at least I know where I stand with him and what is going on. I know if I can make my move. I hear them talk just outside of the door I can't make out every word but the is one thing I hear crystal clear in the middle of the typical 'is he gay?' conversation that's always the first one that happens. I hear his gorgeous welsh accent say' And I don't care.' So, he really does have no feelings for me whatsoever. I feel crushed. I can't listen to the rest of the conversation, so I just walk away. But before I can I hear Tosh say that I will shag anything that is gorgeous enough. Now Ianto will definitely think I don't want a serious relationship with him and that's all I have ever wanted with him. Why does he think nothing of me?

I walked to where I said I was actually going. I stood there thinking about all the times I have watched Ianto shave after he has stayed the night. It's like he has no idea I'm even there, he doesn't even realise I exist. And he certainly doesn't have any feelings for me. I close my eyes and I think about every time he stayed late when I was snowed under paperwork and he brought me coffee or just came to make sure I didn't need anything before he 'went out'. I would say he was leaving and then I would look down at his desk and he would still be there hours later. Sometimes he fell asleep on his desk. He was so cute when he was asleep. Then he would go and get changed into one of the suits he has under his desk. It's like he thinks I don't notice he is there. I will always notice Ianto. Then the others would walk in and not really notice him. It crushed me every time this happened, he just wanted to be normal again.

I knew he was hurt from what happened at canary wharf he went through hell. I would see it in his eyes. Trust me I have seen a lot of pain in my lifetime. Every time I ask how he is he says he is fine. He might be able to hide behind that big cheesy smile and his welsh accent against everybody else, but he can't against me. I see the pain in his eyes every day. I want to help him so badly. But I need him to want help. If I just force him into it then he won't want to talk to anybody, and he could even completely shut down. And if he does that then there may be serious consequences for himself.

I heard the girl crying in the cell over the comms and know I must go back to the group to decide what we are going to do with her. As I enter the room, I feel a warmth come over me. A warmth that I know is caused by Ianto being there. It's a familiar warmth that I have grown to love and cherish. It's a warmth that I always want to feel in my life no matter what. That's the moment I realise that I have to tell Ianto that I love him and that I have never and will ever love anybody anymore. 

A/N : This is the first thing I am publishing so please beware that it will not be very good. In this particular one shot I took inspiration from Season 1 Episode 2. Please feel free to comment and I will get back to you as soon as I can! Thanks.