Ben

Chapter Two: That Ben

        Reality could be somehow frightening. Especially when it shows us how harsh the world is, but it can also be frightening when it becomes a dream.

         Fleeting happiness in reality feels like an impossible dream. It makes you anxious of what comes next. It makes you not believe reality itself and neglect what really is happening.    
         You become sensitive. You ask, do I deserve this happiness? Is it normal to feel this? Or will this ever end?

         You come up with random thoughts on how your dreams and reality had suddenly become one. Imagine two different dimensions merging, now ain't that dangerous?

        The light cannot take on the dark and the dark cannot take on the light. There should always be a rift between two polar opposites, a barrier to avoid collision.
        What if darkness overcomes the light? It would mean despair, loneliness, and emptiness. And what if the light conquered the dark? It would be too vibrant, too bright and too much for the eyes to see.

        Too loud can be deafening, and too silent can be even more deafening.

        Too much can kill. And I am afraid to feel too much. I was afraid to give too much, and I was being considerate for not wanting too much.

         A year had passed without me ever thinking too much about Ben. I seldom see him too, although I see myself staring whenever I do.

        The feelings I had for him had subsided. Maybe  it was just a one-time thing? Maybe he was only meant for me to like once and that was all there is to it?

       "I knew you like Ben."

        I jolted up when someone spoke beside me. It was Rose, one of my best friends also.

       "What are you talking about?"

        I acted dumb, well as if it'd work on her.

        "Come on, don't play dumb. I always see you staring at him since seventh grade! Stop denying it."

        She leaned on the railings behind us. We were actually just chilling on the pathway after we bought snacks. It kind of became a thing during break time.

       "I used to like him."

        I sighed, feeling as if a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders. But, it felt unreal. The words I said felt unreal. It's like I was saying that only to convince myself not to actually tell it to Rose.

        Rose being a douche ignored what I said and shook her head.

        "You know he's single now right?"

        I almost fell forward when she said that.

        Ben is single? Since when? I thought his recent girlfriend will be his last. It seemed they were serious about each other. Well I had once talked with his girlfriend; well perhaps it's his ex now.

        Rose laughed.

       "You seemed shocked! Yeah they broke up during summer, that's what I heard."

        I blinked. No, that couldn't be true. I've seen them together almost every day last year. They were inseparable. What could've happened?

       "Well, someone's happy"

        Kim patted me on the shoulders. Kim is also one of my best friends, I have five in total. They're all messed up in the head, that was probably why we were best friends.

        "Crissa here just found out that her long time crush is single again!"

        Rose said excitedly.

        "Who? Ben? Oh my gosh! We can finally tease you both awww."

        Aries suddenly jumped up. She and Dominique were jumping for joy like lunatics.

       "You guys are embarrassing me."

        I said trying to hide my face from the crowd and simply looking out to see if Ben wasn't around.

       "There she goes again looking for her Ben."

        Yesha pointed out and they started laughing.

        Is it really this funny?

        And how did they know I like Ben? Was I obvious?
        Shocks, what if Ben also figured? I might just die right now.
        Now that these five knows that I like Ben, I'm very much sure that it's not long till the whole class knows.

    The next day, I was flooded with questions and remarks like;

       "So it was Ben huh?"

        Everyone was confirming me of my feelings for him! Well not everyone though, there were a couple few who were sane to not bother me with some trivial thing.

        So what if I like Ben? So what if he's my crush? He's just a guy and I'm just a girl, it's normal to have a crush on someone! Plus he was that Ben.