Ben

Chapter Eighteen: Fear Ben

Life is so full of surprises. There are times when youre so high up and the next time youre far down. Its as if we are constantly wishing to be in the middle ground but to no avail. Not all people can get to the middle, nor can they find it. Thats why most of the time, we are never neutral, and we are either side but never both. They say if you are to choose between or and youd answer maybe or both or you give another option, thats a sign of weakness. That means you lack conviction and you can never decide for your own unless you choose between two choices.

However theres me, who think that being in the middle, is whats right. Because I believe that everything should be done in moderation. Too much can kill and almost is never enough. This mind-set is the reason behind my survival as a high school student but somehow, this type of thinking is not that useful in relationships.

It was then that I realized my relationship with Ben had always been in the middle. Yes there have been dramas and all but after such drama, were back to basics. We spend most of our time chatting or texting on the phone which I think doesnt really strengthen the bond. Although we do meet once in a while in school and I really appreciate and love his efforts.

Buttouch is essential to romantic relationships. And Im not even pertaining to intimacy, rather just the brush of a hand, a tap on the shoulder, kiss on the forehead or maybe just chatting side by side. Seeing the face of each other, every expression as you talk about thing; stuffs that matter.

Im now in school, exams are over and were having a practice on our completion program. I was even assigned to conduct the singing of national anthem.

No Crissa thats not how you do it! Keep it poise. Move your hands lightly!

Maam Clarita said. I had to take deep breathes to try and not to roll my eyes. Ive been doing things like how she told me and then she would still correct me by telling me not to do what she said at first. Shes hella confusing and my arms feel like theyre going to break!

Crissa stand up straight and make your eyes stay still. She added yet again.

Luckily, the song has come to a stop for the third time and she called it a wrap.

Next time you better make it right. Practice at home okay?

She spoke once I was off the stage. I just slightly nodded at her.

Once I was back on my spot I breathed out all the negative vibes I had on stage. Ughh I really need to do it right.

Shes so pretentious. I heard Yesha said. Shes sitting beside me because we were arranged by rank.

I know right. She says this thing is right and contradicts it the next.

We were actually whispering despite us sitting close. There are about five teachers around trying to keep order in practice. I mean, theyre this serious?

Ugh two more minutes till break time. Yesha said under her breathe.

I looked at my clock and just stared at it while our supervisor is giving out instructions on what to do and what not to do.

Finally, two minutes later break time came in.

Hey Cris, I saw Ben earlier. He was with Ricky. Rose came while holding a can of soda on her left hand and chips on the other. i took my luck and grabbed a piece of her chips and since both of her hands were full, she only got to frown at me.

I wonder why theyre here. I said. Ricky is on the same batch as Ben and they also go to the same school now that theyre in senior high. I see them together most of the time.

I dont know, why dont you go and ask him? Rose said and pointed at the benches and to my surprise Ben was actually there! He was wearing his school uniform. This is probably the first time I saw him wearing it because uniforms kinda get distributed late.