Trust Issues

Chapter 41: Fog

Everything in my life right now is covered by a sheet of fog. It's misty and unclear. Not just for me, for everyone in my life as well. We all walked around like zombies, we were stuck in a rut. No one really knew where to go from here. Having conversations with Cat was difficult because of our mental states would attack each other. Even talking to Jas feels different. She distant, understandably of course. I just wish I knew how to bring things back to normal. Now that I think about it, was it ever really normal?

"CJ?"

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a confused Jordan.

"Yeah sorry, what's up?" I asked, resuming my task of wiping down the bar.

"I know we're not close but if something is on your mind you can tell me." He said.

I haven't really ever seen him this serious. He's a big goofball who always brightens the mood. We are not close, but I feel like he is trustworthy, he seems to trust me as well by the way he asked for Jas and mines advice before.

"Have you ever experienced a point in your life where you were at your peak and then everything came crashing down all at once?"

He thought for a moment.

"Yeah. In fact, I just got out of it, and Sean helped me through that." He stated.

I perked up at Sean's name.

"So you and Sean are together now?" I asked excitedly.

"Yes, I took your advice and things are going great with us." He chuckled and blushed like an idiot.

I'm happy for him.

"Dating him and other things in my life that are good right now, showed me that no matter how low life may get, there's always a way back up. Yours will come. It's not easy where you're at right now, it's terrible, but the best thing to do is to navigate one day at a time." Jordan continued.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What? I can be intelligent and offer words of wisdom?" He shoved me playfully.

I laughed at his silliness.

"Thank you Jordan, I needed to hear that." I replied.

He opened his arms wide with a big goofy smile signalling a hug. I gladly took him up on his offer. Being held by a friend who wasn't stuck in the same situation as me felt nice, and for once...normal.

I went trudging about my shift with my blurry brain. It definitely felt a lot longer than a six hour shift usually feels. When it came to an end, I said bye to everyone, got changed and walked out. As I made my way to the bus stop I couldn't help but think how much I missed the days Jasmine would just show up. With her smug 'hey new girl' line. Damn, how things have changed.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I took it out and saw Catherine's big head and her name on my screen.

"What's up? Are you okay?" I asked through the phone.

"Sheesh hello to you too sunshine." She snapped back.

"Sorry, Im not doing so hot today."

"Which is exactly why I was calling you. I'm sick of our trapped little apartment of sadness. Also, it feels like forever since we went somewhere nice. Let's go for a walk by the water?" Cat suggested.

I contemplated the idea. It was almost 10pm which is a little late but the boardwalk will actually be quite nice and full of life since it's summertime.

"Okay...yeah, actually that sounds great." I said.

"Cool! I'll meet you there. Ask Jas to see if she'd like to come, I'm sure she could use some fresh air too."