Stigma ✔

|39|

Jin

After a delay in the schedule we came back to Korea five days later. We barely had any sleep and we were terribly tired by the time we came back home. Which is why we were given a two days break to recuperate and boy were we not thankful for it.  I don't think anyone except Hobi had left the bed in the past two days.  

All of which meant that it had been nearly a week since I last had contact with JooHyun. In the two days I refused to detach myself from the bed,  I had searched them up to know where they might be right now. News articles led me to know that they were currently in the States promoting.

I dropped her a message asking to call back whenever she is free. I was back in Korea so I have my phone on me everyday in case she calls.

One week passed and there was no contact. She had definitely seen my message but no reply. I did not think much of it as I knew they were not back yet.

One month passed by in a blink, filled with recordings, shootings and learning yet another challenging set of choreography. We practically spent our days in the practice room. We ate there, we took our classes there, we practiced there and we slept there. This was not really anything different for any of us. We were used to it.

What I did not expect was to be ghosted by her. They came back two weeks ago, they attended a award show we couldn't go to, they went on variety shows and made many appearances but there was still no reply to my numerous texts.

It was understood that both the groups were busy and had a tight schedule but when I saw her read my message at night and still not reply, I knew that something was wrong.

The incident at the hospital was not brought up again so I assumed the person who took the photo clearly did not cause any problems. I would know if there had been something, surely.

She was clearly avoiding me.

But why?

Was it because I was not in contact with her at all in the first week? Is she mad at me?

No. That's not possible. She knows the ways of an idol. She knows what keeps me occupied.

I had to find a way to know what's going on and like destiny came yet another end of the season award show.

From the moment we came to know that we were going to attend that event, I started planning how to approach her in case she is really not willing to talk to me.

Three days later, I stood in front of the set-up vanity mirror, blankly staring at my reflection. We are getting ready for the red carpet which should start soon but I couldn't for the life of me get myself together.

It has been this way since the past week and members have noticed it. Yoongi was not really subtle at hiding his irritation while the members were somewhat having better control. Last night I finally cracked and told them my dilemma when I nearly scared Jimin by scolding him for burning an egg. That poor boy was just trying to lift my spirits but I acted like a idiot.

That was also the breaking point for the boys and an angry Namjoon suddenly called a group meeting. I told them everything last night.

Hoseok and Tae were the first who came up with a solution. They told me to straight up go and talk to her after the show or during the break but Jimin pointed out that if communication was that easy, there wouldn't be a problem right now.

This discussion went for another hour where the boys were coming up with some bizarre ideas like abduction, pulling into a broom cupboard, sending a message through the staff (a common method of communication between idol couples) or straight up hijacking their car. I guess most of these suggestions came from an unhealthy dose of amine watching by the maknae's.

Quickly putting a stop to the conversation, I made them leave my problem to me and urged them to go sleep and rest for today's show. I was left alone in the room for a while only to realize that Jimin came back with two steaming cups of hot chocolate.

He sat next to me and handed me one. "Drink it hyung. It will help you think.". I wordlessly thanked him and took a sip.

We sat there in silence for a while before Jimin spoke up.

"Hyung, do you like her?" He asked me. I silently nodded, not having the energy to express the truth. He set his mug on the table and turned towards me. 

"Hyung, what is it to like someone?" He asked and this question suddenly broke me out of my stupor. Startled, I sat up straight and looked at Jimin. I stared at him for a minute and recognized as pure curiosity that I felt when my brother had started liking his first crush.

"It's like...when you are with someone, it instantly releases all stress. You crave to be in their presence always, want to share even the smallest thing in your life. You get a sense of accomplishment when they approve of something. You never want to lie to that person, always wanting to be honest. Your day starts and ends with them on your mind. I-It's hard to explain Jimin-ah." I say, staring blankly at the table, "It's that overwhelming feeling that brings immense joy to us. We crave it more and more once we get the taste of it."

He goes silent for a while and then cutely nods, "Like how we feel every time we see ARMY."

I smile at him and ruffle at him. "Yes, sometimes even more than that." He shakes his head as if not believing me but doesn't say anything.

"I hope your mission tomorrow goes well, Hyung." He says sincerely. I smile and get up from the couch, taking both the mugs in my hand. "I hope so too. Go sleep Jimin-ah. I'll wash this up." 

I stare at the mirror and set my mind on what I am about to do. Let's hope nothing goes wrong today. 

*************

Hellloo!How many of you watched the BANGBANGCON?

 I tried to watch the whole thing but just couldn't.

 Hope you guys are safe and sound!

See you in the next update!

A small teaser for you because today was probably the best day of the year for me!

"I don't think anyone present would ever be able to read him that well but I knew. He always projects his feelings like an open book to me. Filled with guilt and unable to bear the weight of the piercing gaze, I break the eye contact and look down, trying my best to control my tears.

A hand slithers up my lap and takes hold of mine. I look up and see Wendy give me a small smile and nod.

You'll be okay.

That is what she told me but will I really be?"

**