The Heart Doctor

Thirty-two

The weekend ended fast. It's 10 in the evening and tomorrow would be the start of another week spent in the hospital.

I was already in bed when I realized that I haven't been checking my phone. Well, may iniiwasan kasi ako.

I went to my messages and saw notifications about Bea's unread messages.

I took a deep breath before I finally clicked it and started reading.

Baby, it's not what you think. Please let me explain.

It was her oldest message. I continued reading.

Jema please answer my call. Mali ang iniisip mo. Jho and I are not together. Baby please, ikaw ang mahal ko.

I can somehow feel her emotions while I was reading it. She must be so frustrated that I am not answering her calls.

Jema, mahal ka kita. I did everything para iparamdam yun sayo. Jho and I are long over. Nadala lang siguro ng pangyayari but it meant nothing baby. I will never cheat on you. I can't hurt you.

Medyo naluluha na ako. Parang bumabalik kasi lahat ng sakit na naramdam ko while I was listening on their conversation. Na tipong parang kanina lang yun nangyari.

Jema, please... I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you. Bababalik na ako dyan!

Then the next message was sent earlier today.

I know there is no excuse for what I did yesterday. Dad and mom allowed Jho to be my nurse since she begged for it. Jho is now separated from her husband and she needed to get out of Canada. The only way she can do it fast is if we hire her as my nurse. She wasn't aware that I was already in a relationship until the moment you were on the phone. We kissed and I know it's wrong but please, believe me, it was nothing to me. I was shocked and didn't realize that she still has feelings pa pala. I told her about us and I was about to leave so I can see you but mom and dad stopped me because I still don't have a clearance to go home. So I'm stuck here. And sobrang nakakainis kasi I can't do anything. I spoke with Deanna and she promised me she'll take care of you and I'm letting her since I know she cares for you that much. I don't know if kakausapin mo pa ako after nito. Maybe hindi talaga ako ang para sayo. You don't know how much this hurts pero I just want you to be happy kung saan ka man sasaya. I love you Jema. Sobrang sobra! And sana mapatawad mo ako, kahit yun lang okay na sa akin. I'm so sorry.

I can feel her pain in her message. What more if she's saying it? I know Bea, alam kong mahal niya ako. I felt it sa lahat ng ginagawa niya for me and I guess masyado ko na din siyang sinasaktan. She may have made a mistake but one mistake doesn't define her. I need to call her and tell her I love her still. Because I do. I really do.

I took my phone and dialled her number.

She answered right after the first ring.

"Jema?" She uttered. Alam kong umiiyak siya.

"Bei..." I answered softly.

She sniffed before she said, "I'm really sorry. I wish I...."

But I didn't let her continue because I don't want her getting hurt.

"It's okay... I'm sorry too for not trusting you. I was hurt and I didn't know how to react. I tried to escape with the feeling but nothing can seem to make me feel better. Good thing my friends are with me and so as Iza. They helped me and so now I feel better tsaka nakapag-isip isip na din ako." I stated.