Reality And Us

Chapter Ten

Everything was gloomy around him, the fog lying in the air made it seem as if he was surrounded by shadows. The darkness was lurking in every corner, crawling around him, threatening him. Almost as if the evil had turned into a color and was ready to kill, ready to end his life. Moving anywhere would've meant moving towards the shadow, giving in, agreeing with its destructive ways.

Everything was cold around him, he was barefoot and the ground he was standing on was frosty, his feet felt like ice. His breathing was heavy and every time the air left his body a misty cloud seemed to appear, the air around it almost immediately freezing it, making a noise that bothered him, he could already feel the cold on his skin, in his body, he didn't need to hear it as well, but he did.

Everything was frightening around him, the monsters grinning so widely at him, none of them had a constant form or appearance, but that made it even worse to handle. Sometimes they were personifications, sometimes actual people. They circled him, letting him feel things he didn't want to feel. He preferred it when they were people, because then at least they weren't his fears reincarnated.

Everything was chaos within him, he wanted to scream, to cry, to run, to die, but nothing happened. Nothing ever happened, leaving him trapped inside of this scenery of evil and madness, letting him feel fear and anger and despair and so much more that he could've never been able to describe it.

Zane was shaking when he woke up, he desperately tried to catch his breath, he was sweaty and scared.

He closed his eyes and leaned back, back against the soft material of his couch, and told himself that everything would be alright. It was just a nightmare. Nothing special. Nothing that bothered him too often, so he'd have to get over it.

He took slow breaths, deep breaths, trying to calm down again. Just a nightmare.

After a while he sat up, he looked around. It took him a bit to realize that he wasn't in the bedroom, that he was in the living room, and that he hadn't slept on their bed but on the couch. It wasn't really comfortable, and his back hurt a little bit, but that was okay.

He was okay.

He looked at the clock, it was almost six am - in ten minutes or something - so he didn't loose a lot of sleep. He would've got up in about half an hour anyway, to get ready for the day.

He went into their bedroom, carefully and silent trying not to awake his sleeping boyfriend, and took a few clothes from his closet. With those new items he made his way over to the bathroom, closed the door behind him after he had entered and put his stuff onto the shelf, he had to shower.

Honestly, Zane loved the feeling of cold water when showering, it was so refreshing and cooling, helped him focus and get started, it woke him up if he was still a bit sleepy and didn't burn him alive, unlike hot water.

His boyfriend would sometimes tease him for that, but in his opinion, there was no better way to start the day than a cold, long shower, it really relaxed his muscles in a way most people didn't understand.

Of course, there were times he preferred a hot shower, but definitely not after lying on an uncomfortable couch for hours.

After he had put on clothes again - jeans and a sweater, just casual stuff - he went over to their kitchen. It was small but cute, they didn't need a huge kitchen anyways. They didn't spend a lot of time in there because they didn't cook a lot, so it was pretty much perfect for them.

He looked at the fridge for a split second, contemplating whether or not he should have breakfast. He was hungry, a bit, but decided against it. He didn't need food, so he just left the room, before a lack of discipline and self-control might've changed his decision.

He took the blanket on the couch he had used the night before and folded it neatly, Lee didn't like it when there was too much chaos around. He placed it back to where it belonged, and looked around, searching for anything else he'd have to do, because he had time.

He went into the bathroom again, having remembered that he didn't put the old clothes in the laundry basket.

He noticed a razor blade lying around not put into the right place yet, and Zane sighed. His boyfriend preferred those old-fashioned weird razors, something he never really understood. Lee was clumsy, so why wouldn't he take one of those that you couldn't accidentally cut your face with? But he had quite a few habits Zane didn't understand and he just had to get used to, and most of them didn't seem as weird as they did before.

Taking the object he gave it a closer look. Noticing a bit of dried blood on the blade, he huffed, his lover sometimes was just too careless when shaving. He washed it and put it back to the place it belonged to, and then left the bathroom again.

Back in the living room he let himself fall onto the couch, he still had time before he needed to leave for work - on Tuesday mornings he always worked in a bookstore nearby, he really loved the environment there, and he loved helping the customers to find a book for them to read.

He took his phone - it was six forty, his boyfriend should wake up soon - and looked if he had gotten any new messages.

Of course not, who would write him anyways? He wasn't that close with his family ever since he had moved in with Lee, and he didn't really have lots of friends either.

Actually, he had one, but they didn't really write a lot since she wasn't a huge fan of texting people. Thinking of the boy from the gym, maybe he had one and a half friends. After all, Nicklas wasn't his friend just yet.

He knew he shouldn't tell his boyfriend about befriending someone new, Lee was always so jealous, almost possessive, and he might not be very understanding with Zane wanting a friend, and he might actually be hurt or angry because of this, and he didn't want to bother anyone or somehow damage their relationship in a way.

Sometimes his boyfriend reacted a little bit extreme, but he was in love with him and Lee was in love with Zane as well, so that was okay. Sometimes it wasn't nice, but it was okay.

He was okay.

He had to be.

Lee woke up later than usual that day, and they barely interacted much in the morning. Zane felt guilty about not having woken up his boyfriend, it had made Lee annoyed at him, and that was never nice.

Lee had said a few mean things before going into the bathroom to get ready, it hurt Zane.

He really needed to get out of the house, so he went to work earlier than usual that day. Even though, usual might not be the right word since situations like on this Tuesday morning weren't that unusual either.

But Zane would be okay.

He'd have to be.

A/N

Woohoo! My first author's note! Incredible!

. . . This is not how you're supposed to do this, is it?

I feel so sorry for my characters :(

Anyways, I can't believe I already got ten chapters published. Hehe.