Reality And Us

Chapter Thirty Three

There was snow covering the ground, enough, to make a snowball fight between a whole class of first-graders possible. And any that melted would be replaced by all those crystals falling down.

Nick was walking down a street, completely lost in thought. But that wasn't a problem, he had internalized this route to a point where he could just let his feet go, his body working on its own while he could wander around in his mind.

He was about to meet Zane, because it was a Thursday afternoon. It made him happy.

Spending time with the boy was really something to look forward to, something great. He really couldn't wait to see him again, something he mentally rolled his eyes at - he was starting to sound like Jamie did with Stella.

Just that they were in a happy relationship with each other, very much in love with one another and very open about what they had. Which, honestly, was highly unlikely to ever be the case for him and Zane - starting from the point that his feelings probably wouldn't be reciprocated. Which turned this from something cute to something rather creepy.

Usually, when there was nothing particular happening, no funny joke, no cool ideas, then his face would return to its resting position, a sometimes considered weird, scary or unhappy way of being, according to his friends. Which should be the case now, too. But it wasn't.

His lips formed a smile, not too wide, but still quite prominent. It made him seem a lot nicer, a lot more approachable than he would've preferred, if he had noticed it. But he was busy trying to figure out if it was appropriate to hug Zane once they met each other.

Once he arrived at the building he looked at his watch, he was on time. Two minutes before they had planned to meet up.

He stood there for a while, trying not to get impatient. Zane had a lot of things going on right now in his life, so that was okay. It didn't mean anything, he shouldn't take it personal. His friend didn't mean it like that.

Closing his eyes he breathed out slowly. Not for any particular reason, he was surprisingly enough not really mad at the other for being late. He simply wanted to enjoy the feeling of standing there, in the streets, but still somehow being so far away from everything.

He couldn't see it, but the air leaving his body formed pretty grey clouds at meeting the cold. He had his hands put into his pockets, his cheeks were tainted in a light red. It was nice to get away for a moment, to live in some other kind of realm for just the time he'd wait.

There were people around, he could faintly hear some chatter, a car drove by. The simple sounds of life surrounding him were for once actually being noticed, an awareness he usually didn't have made this whole moment a lot more special.

Suddenly someone poked his shoulder. Was Zane already here? He must've made sure to be very quiet, because there hadn't been a lot of sounds to give him away.

He slowly opened his eyes again, and blinked confusedly. "Oh. Hi."

He wanted to step a little forward and hug the boy who was looking at him so apologetically, an endearing smile making his face so much brighter.

But he didn't. Not because he thought Zane to have a problem with it, but because he was too conscious. They were there, out in the streets, and of course it was stupid and irrational to think someone might spare them at least some attention, someone might assume something. But he just couldn't get that biting feeling, idea rather, out of his head. There was a lot less in between them then he'd wish for, but that didn't change this fear of his. That someone might know something about him, something he wasn't ready for that someone to know.