Reality And Us

Chapter Thirty Eight

Time is a funny thing.

Some days passed by and it felt like centuries, and suddenly two months went by in the blink of an eye.

Maybe that was because sometimes, it felt as if nothing really happened. And when nothing really happened, everything went by faster. Of course, those past few months did have some things happening within them, but in general, to Nick it felt as if there had been nothing, really.

The beginning of the school year had been kind of turbulent - meeting someone new, it was all a little different. Because his whole worldview had changed, he was still growing up after all.

But after that? Sure in December, Zane had broken up with Lee. It felt like yesterday, and somehow still ages ago. A difficult feeling to describe for him, the way he felt almost like a time-traveler, just skipping a few months.

Life was kind of repetitive. Still, so much had changed. But slowly, so slowly he had only noticed it now, as he was sitting there, staring at his friends chasing each other in the snow. Because they were different, everything was different from half a year ago, and it was as if he was the only one who hadn't changed. Just that he had, too, a lot.

He had been meeting up with Zane these past few months a lot, most weeks two times, in some less or more, but rather more. They were gradually getting closer, and it felt so great and so bad at the same time.

He loved being closer to the boy, loved the way their bond strengthened over time. He loved seeing how the other started to recover, slowly, but that was okay. Zane was eating more, was meeting people, befriending people. He talked a lot more with his parents, he seemed to forget Lee, get over him at least. And all of that made Nicklas want to grin so widely that surely everyone would see, and that was why he didn't.

On the other hand, it really wasn't nice. Because he had been slowly realizing that what he was feeling might stick around for a little longer, might not leave too soon. And he couldn't help but wish those feelings were reciprocated, which was, he had come to that conclusion after a lot of thinking, kind of unlikely. Besides, Nick was sure that he would be the shittiest boyfriend ever if he ever got into a relationship. Due to . . . reasons.

Life had its up and downs, and that was okay. He was a teenager, and those years often weren't the nicest, and life had been pretty good on him compared to a lot of other people.

Nicklas looked up suddenly as a ball of snow just so slightly flew by next to his shoulder. Just a little more to left and he would have been hit.

"Don't just sit there, that's boring! Join us!", Jamie exclaimed happily.

Yes, boredom had been something his best friend had been struggling with, Nick had noticed that. The boy always seemed to try his best to dodge it. At this point Nicklas sometimes just simply didn't ask, because the answer might have been something to make him worry too much.

"What are you, five?", he responded while standing up. His tone and his words, maybe even his stance might have suggested he was bothered by them, but he wasn't.

Which was a little more obvious as he looked at the two of them and asked, "Snowman?"

"No fight?", Stella mumbled, a pout on her face.

Even though Nick acted like a grumpy old man unwilling to have fun sometimes, he was really happy to see her like this, because sometimes he almost forgot how she could act like this. His friends seemed both weird to him, in a way, because they acted so different in private and with other people around, but he didn't mind it that much as long as he still got this side of them, the side of them he was friends with them for.