Reality And Us

Chapter Thirty Five

Zane had never needed that much to survive.

He had learned that most people tended to be more welcoming when you don't walk around like a beggar - something he disagreed with, you shouldn't treat beggars any worse - and over the years he had made sure to have some nice clothing in his wardrobe. But he had never had that much, most of his friends teasing him about his lack of clothes. But he had always preferred it that way, still did. Makes choosing an outfit easier.

He had his laptop, and with his laptop, a lot of other things became useless. Paper? You have text-documents, they don't kill trees. Massive amount of pens? Why, you don't use paper most of the time anyway. TV? Your PC is a lot handier.

And phones did replace a lot of stuff as well.

He had his major documents, yes. He had equipment for his phone and laptop - headphones, for example - and two pairs of shoes, two jackets. His bathroom stuff, but still, a lot less than other people had. He didn't have books because his e-reader was already enough.

Lots of other things people used daily, a lot of memory things, lots of old, never used again items like that old flashlight lying in the back of the corner of your shelf, he thought it to be useless. Sure, he had one picture of his family displaying his parents, his older brother and his younger sister, but just a single one.

When he had moved out from his parents' place he had packed just the essentials, nothing more, just what made his life so much easier that he couldn't imagine living without it. He preferred to have as little belongings as possible while still living comfortably, and a thousand pairs of shoes or the coolest sweater weren't what he wanted to have. The money was better invested into his family or charity.

A lot of things - most actually - at Lee's place weren't his, so he obviously didn't bring them with him. Which had left him walking with one suitcase and one backpack down the streets.

It was a rather difficult task to balance out, walking with a suitcase and a bike simultaneously. But he could manage. Hopefully.

This whole way he was going felt . . . just not right. Something inside of him was telling him to turn around. To apologize.

Not necessarily the part of him that wanted to go back because of the lack of awareness of how bad this situation had been for him, the part was growing smaller and smaller with each step he was taking forward, as he found himself more and more pitying Lee. Just pity. And he wanted to turn around to stop the other from crying so miserably, from feeling so left alone. He wanted to make sure the other is happy, can be happy again. Nobody, no matter what they had done, deserved to feel like that about themselves.

The room is dark, or does it just feel so gloomy? He can feel a tension inside of him growing. He knows he''ll have to do something.

"Lee.", he whispers, the other not hearing him. "Lee.", he says again, this time more loudly.

The boy whose name he has called turns around, his eyes falling onto this familiar sight, his boyfriend standing within his apartment. Presumably after just leaving the bedroom. But this time is different.

His voice is final, in a way, harsh. Not the usual kindness, but something he feels to sound cruel. He is visibly uncomfortable, his fist clenched tightly around the suitcase standing next to him.

Wait. Why does he have one?

"What's up with the suitcase, Zane?"

He wasn't happy about what he had done, wasn't happy of how this situation had turned out, didn't know where they had gone wrong. But he knew it wasn't really Lee's fault, he was ill. He needed help, serious help, he hadn't been ready yet, mentally.