Claimed (Werewolf boyxboy)

Chapter 9

Ortiz

My eyes were stuck in a blank stare at nothing in particular as I slowly chewed the eggs that Corey had prepared for me. Although I knew I'd probably find them delicious in any other circumstance, they currently felt like sandpaper against my tongue, and I only forced myself to swallow because I knew my body required nutrients. I couldn't focus on the taste, or anything for that matter, as my mind was fully preoccupied with the idea of my imminent demise. 

I was rendered speechless after Benji told us our fate, not even able to come up with a single sarcastic remark that could comfort me. Instead, I fell limply back into my chair and stared down at my shoes in shock until I gathered the capability to move my legs and walk to the kitchen in a daze, where I was currently sulking at the island. 

Corey and I hadn't said one word to one another since then, both stuck in our own thoughts as he made us breakfast. We continued our silence as we sat beside one another, eating without so much as a peep. 

The dwindling effects of my withdrawals were no longer relevant as thoughts ran around in my head like a child let loose after devouring a year's worth of sugar. Nobody knew how much time we had, as Daffodil didn't know anything about the length of time between the tether formation he'd witnessed and the death of those attached to it.

The seemingly obvious answer to all of this would be to just accept or reject the bond, but in my head our situation was so much more complicated than that.

My fingers absentmindedly rubbed at the place where my neck met my shoulder, faint tingles emanating from the spot where my fading mating mark was placed as I pondered, pushing my eggs around the plate and ignoring the hungry rumbling of my stomach. 

My father's voice echoed harshly in the back of my mind, forever reminding me that us being together wasn't possible. A Beta being a submissive went against the core rules that were quite literally beaten into me from a young age. I knew that if my father were still alive, he would make me reject Corey and probably set me up with some submissive Omega with a 'good bloodline' that he deemed worthy of bearing my children. I shivered uncomfortably at the thought, clenching my fork tightly in my grasp. 

On the other hand, however selfish of me, I couldn't find it in me to reject Corey either. Somewhere deep down I craved his touch, longing for the feeling of freedom and completion that I'd been given a taste of when I was twisted up in the sheets underneath him soon after we'd first met. My wolf, Luka, who had gone eerily quiet lately, whined softly in the corner of my mind at that thought. 

I desired the feeling of being loved so bad, yet it was the forbidden fruit in my own personal Garden of Hell, complete with father's voice, incessantly reminding me that love meant vulnerability, and vulnerability meant weakness. 

Besides, once Corey learned about my past, he wouldn't want me anyway. 

How could someone as perfect as him want someone like me? He was so poised, so in control of his emotions, a perfect representation what of my father expected me to be.

Meanwhile, I was a loose cannon, not knowing how to interpret what I was feeling most of the time. I had no direction whatsoever, no sense of control over my emotions, as if my father was still puppeteering the strings of my life from whatever corner of hell that he rotted in. 

It was so unfair to Corey, being stuck with someone like me who couldn't even control the way that I reacted to him, someone who treated him like shit with no explanation.

I deserved to die, but not Corey. He hadn't done anything wrong. 

This was all my fault.