I got rid of my vent book by accident so whoo!
[MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY]
Anyway, because I'm in high school, all my old friends are still in middle school, and i haven't been hanging out with them that much, especially now because of the virus
One of my friends has come over though, and it's apparent now that she's becoming toxic
She's been harassing my friend Jen, and has been mean so some others too. The last time she came over, I was on my period, and unable to do "acts" with her.
Her and I started doing those things a long time ago, and we've stopped for a while. She's been using me as her sexual outlet, when no boys (maybe even other girls) were available, and I've started to see that now. She doesn't know how to treat me like a normal friend anymore, he'll, I might seem like just an object to her. All she ever wants to do is kiss me and undress me, but that makes me uncomfortable now.
Especially since I'm experiencing a change, causing me to become genderfluid and consider the possibility I might be trans. I was fine with it the first time, since we agreed to keep being friends and no feelings were involved. But last time when she came over, I was busy drawing when she came and hugged me from behind, and tried to "get me in the mood." I didn't reciprocate her feelings, and I already told her I was bleeding, but she egged me on anyway.
She started telling me she loved me SEVERAL times, to which I responded with an "okay", since I didn't feel the same. She told me it was platonic, but her actions said otherwise.
Also when harassing Jen, she started the convo with "Hey cutie", which she's called me also. She then started name calling her, saying things like "you're a pussy" or "you're such a bitch", which when said to Jen, really hurts me too. Jennie has helped me through a lot, and I don't care that she's my ex. She's possibly my bestest friend, and has always been there for me ever since we met. I'm glad to have her in my life, and I hope she never leaves.
I've stopped talking to her (toxic friend) and won't answer her texts, but I'm not sure about blocking her yet. If she continues doing what she's doing, not just with me but with others, then I'll see what I can do.
But for now, I'm hoping things get better in my friend group, and soon, we'll (almost) all be in the same school, and things will be good again.
If any of you read this, thank you for that. This was just a vent, but I don't have my therapist available and my mom/family can't know about these things. I'll post something lighthearted soon
