maze of memories. | lmh + hjs ✓

f i f t e e n

warning: mentions of sexual assault and needles/shots

\\\shorter chapter\\\

"okay." taking a deep breath, jisung began to tell his story.

"so... i fell asleep. and when i opened my eyes... i was in a room. it was white everywhere. there was nothing. all i could see was the ceiling. but that was white too. i realized that i was laying down, so i tried to get up. but i couldn't." he shivered.

"it was really painful when i tried to move. plus i was tied down onto this surface kind of thing. when i screamed, the walls began flashing and everything. soon after, a scary looking dude came up to me and started...." trailing off, jisung felt the tears flowing. he reached up to wipe them, but realized that minho's hand was already there.

"you can always stop." he whispered, thumbing away the tears on his cheeks. 

"no. this... gives me kind of a closure." shyly holding minho's other hand and continued his explanation. "then... he started to do a whole bunch of things to me..." his voice faltered.

"he... did horrible things to me. first he told these other people who had come in with him to inject me." the volume of his talking lowered. "oh my god." matching jisung's volume, the latter squeezed his hand in a comforting way.

"it... hurt. so, so, so bad." at this point, tears were cascading down onto minho's pillow and hand. "the shots... i could see all the needles and it felt like everything was on fire. it made me want to literally rip out my own bones to stop the pain."

"i couldn't even scream." sobbing, jisung choked on his words. "then everything stopped. all the pain was gone, but i couldn't move anymore. it was as if my body was disconnected to my brain."

"the man... he called everyone out of the room and... injected something else... i'm guessing some sort of drug. after a few seconds, all the feeling came back."

"thank god." minho was just as invested as jisung, who was reliving the nightmare.

"no... he did horrible things...and told me that i deserved it." he curled up into the other's chest, trying to control himself. a gasp left minho's lips, but he pulled jisung closer into a tight embrace, trying to calm him down. "its okay... its only a nightmare."

"the thing is... i don't think it's just a nightmare. i think its a memory." jisung sobbed louder, clinging desperately onto minho's silky pj's.

"what...jisung, how would you know that?" minho pulled away to look him in the eye. "you think you can remember?"

"i have one memory... its just a white room." jisung whispered back, trying to keep himself from breaking down again. "and it perfectly matches my dream. i know it isn't really much to go off of... but i think that dream isn't just a nightmare, but a memory."

minho's heart almost shattered at the sight of jisung, who was quite literally broken. "shh.... its okay...." petting him, the taller reassured him and told him to try and calm down.

"but... he told me that i deserved it..." jisung was slightly better now, able to speak without having to hold in tears.

"what did i do, hyung? who was i? what did i do that i don't remember?"

///

{next morning}

seungmin hummed a tune as he made his way down the stairs. he was greeted with chan, who was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. "hey, seungmin."

"hi hyung." still humming, he strolled over to sit down. "is anybody else up?" it was indeed, quite early in the morning.

"yea, minho and hyunjin. minho needs to help hyunjin leave on his patrol." chan replied.

"do you guys always make preparations for patrols?" seungmin asked, confused.

"no, hyunjin just needed to pick something up." chan sighed. "while we're on the topic of hyunjin... can i say something?"

"sure." seungmin smiled, but it faltered when chan didn't return it.

"seungmin... i don't think... you should get involved with.... hyunjin..." he dragged out the sentence, staring seriously at his cup of coffee.

"what do you mean?" blankly staring at the other, seungmin furrowed his brows.

"i don't want to say this but... he's a playboy. hes always been like that. going around and fucking around? it isn't his fault he's like that, its his... never mind. but we've almost been caught several times because of him." chan pinched the bridge of his nose. "just don't get involved, seungmin."

seungmin was still silent.

"i know." he finally spoke up. "i know its bad for me but... i don't care." he sighed.

"you're going to get your heart broken." chan insisted, putting down his coffee as his swirled around in the mug. "spare yourself the pain."

"he cant break my heart if he doesn't have it." seungmin shook his head. "its completely platonic." he knew, even as he said those words, that he was lying. maybe hyunjin was lying that day he came into seungmin's room, maybe it was fake. but seungmin felt as if those words he had uttered to him that day were genuine. he had to believe that.

because he needed that excuse to hide his own feelings.

"okay." chan didn't believe seungmin, but decided to not interfere. "i just hope you know how to let go when it becomes too much." draining his mug, he stood up and disappeared into the kitchen.

///

"hm..." groaning, felix blinked his eyes open. still in his bed. "ah. you're awake?" changbin was sitting on his chair, typing something on his phone.

"yea..." smiling, he recalled last night. he had fallen asleep to changbin's soothing words after a session of cuddling. "did you sleep here last night?"

"yea. on the chair." he gestured to the wooden chair he was sitting on. chuckling, he jokingly clutched onto his back.

"oh no. i'm so sorry- should i massage your back?" felix shot out of bed and worriedly paced around the chair. laughing, changbin shook his head. "don't worry. i slept next to you." actually, he had stayed up just staring at his boyfriend and ended up falling asleep half on the bed and half in the chair, but felix didn't need to know that.

"okay. thank god. well do you want to go downstairs now?" felix suggested. "sure." agreeing, he grabbed the blonde's hand, intertwining them. "let's go."

downstairs, they sat down next to a cheerful jeongin, who was flipping through channels on the tv. "hey guys, want do you want to watch? jisung hyung ditched me and went outside for some reason." 

"i don't know." felix responded, running his thumb over changbin's knuckles. "you can pick the show." 

changbin hummed in agreement, smiling at his boyfriend. "you can pick." jeongin just sat there in disbelief, looking half amused and half disgusted. "gosh, get a room." he said, rolling his eyes. "i get that you're dating, but save the lovey dovey things things until you're alone." 

"sorry?" felix offered, giggling as he reached over to pat jeongin's messy hair. 

"do you guys not want the toast?" chan popped his head into the living room, a piece of toast in hand. "there's a lot left." 

"let's go and eat." jeongin stood up, jokingly shaking his head at the two. "tell them to get a room, chan hyung!" he just laughed and guided the boy out of the room. 

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i'm back i guess

anyways please support their comeback on june 17th ! i'm really excited for their first full album

thanks for the read <3