It's Complicated

Chapter Twelve

I woke up with a huge headache and severe dehydration. I decided to creep into the kitchen in the event that my parents were home; thankfully they were not , I got some water from the fridge, I felt as high as I had went to sleep last night paired with a terrible headache. The night had been amazing in a calm, peaceful manner, smoking didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would have and Brendon had also turned out to be a very deep, interesting character. He was a bit harsh on me during the conversation ,but he had told me that he had to show me some tough love in order for me to be able to grow. I had promised to spend the rest of the summer with him, and he had promised to show me how to live in return. Live, what a scary word, I also agreed to go to a party, that was even more scary than living, but I tried my best not to overthink it too much. This party was going to be so much more different than the first one I attended, much more people, much more drinks, it was a lot to wrap my mind around. I had to face the facts that I needed to come out of my shell. I powered on my phone, after having it off for a full 24 hours. No surprise there, missed calls from both Levi and Stanley, trying to find out if I was okay, and they both wanted to speak to me. Stanley, for sure I wasn't ready to speak to , and I didn't know when I would actually be ready to speak to him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to Levi either, i wanted the novel experience of clinging to the guy that took my virginity, but i wasn't feeling so close to him in light of the recent situation and it sucked. I knew in my heart that I would forgive them eventually,and besides Levi and i had just started our relationship, which was close to perfect, but forgiveness was a process, possibly a very long process in this case. As for trust, I didn't know if I would ever be able to trust them or fully trust anybody else again in life. The situation was irritating to think about, and to be in, but in order to start the process I knew who I had to call first.

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"Thanks for meeting up with me," I said.

"I suppose I owe you that much or whatever," Josie said to me, barely maintaining eye contact. I felt that the first step to understanding and forgiving both Stanley and Levi, and getting over this whole mess, was to approach Josie on the matter and to at least try to hear her side of the story.

"So are you going to explain or do I have to force it out of you?" we agreed to meet up in the town square. We sat on one of the benches out in the open, I thought that would have been the best place to meet up seeing that it was possibly the most neutral.

"Look Sophia, I'm not sure what you called me here to prove, but I'm not going to tell you anything different than what I'm sure your brother already told you."

"So you really did only become friends with me to get to my brother?" I inquired.

"Sophia, you're a nice girl and all, but we are two different people, with two different lifestyles," she said diverting from the question that I had asked her.

"Okay Josie, two different people, so all of these years of us bonding was a complete lie?"

"I mean, sure, we had some good times, but as I said, it would have never lasted between us, you would have gone to college and that would have been the end of the friendship." She shrugged.

"So let's assume that things did turn out how you wanted it to, and my brother had reciprocated your feelings and you guys had ended up together, what would our friendship have been then?"

"Then I would have the perfect excuse for us to drift apart, because I would have been spending most of my time with Stanley, obviously."

"You know Josie, I really was starting to feel sorry for you a little, you know with your father dying and now knowing that you suffer from a mental illness, but actually it's much deeper than that, you are an ungrateful bitch, and I hate the fact that I ever invited you into my life and accepted you as my best friend," she remained silent, staring at me straight in my eyes, she didn't even look like she had any bit of remorse, I knew what I had to do. "Have a nice life Josie, Good bye," I walked away from her, I didn't know where I was going but I couldn't let her get another word in, she wasn't worth it. Josie had a real issue and I just wish that my brother had told me about her before I got her all involved in my life. I didn't think that talking to Josie today would have caused us to be friends again, however I did think that it would have made me feel a little bit better to hear her side of it, maybe even apologize for her actions. But that didn't happen and I felt worse than I did when my brother told me the full story.