Searching the Stars (Montereal Series #1)

[15]

"Tria!"

Hindi ko na pinansin ang tawag ni Santi at sinundan na agad si Trent. He was on his way to his room at bago pa man niya ako pagsaraduhan ng pinto ay nakapasok na agad ako at nilock ang pinto niya.

He turned to me. He looked really angry.

"Leave," He demanded.

Umiling ako. Hindi ako aalis. I want to explain it to him. Gusto ko sabihin sa kanya na wala lang yun. That it meant nothing to me. That he's the one I want.

"I said, leave." sabi niya ng mas kalmado, pointing at the door.

Pinikit niya ang mata niya. I could feel his anger. Pinipilit niya lang na kumalma.

"Kung di ka aalis, ako nalang." he says at akmang lalabas ng kuwarto niya. Pero nahila ko na kaagad siya. I won't let him leave like this. Yung galit siya sa akin at hindi niya ako matingnan. Yung hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nangyari.

"Trent, pag-usapan naman natin 'to," I begged.

Tinanggal niya ang hawak ko sa braso niya at tiningnan ako sa mata. As always, his eyes soften at the sight of me crying. Ayaw niyang nakikita akong umiiyak.

"Tria... I don't want to talk to you when I'm like this..." kalmado niyang sabi. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm not your real boyfriend. You can date whoever you like, you can kiss anyone you like."

"Like what?" I prodded. "Tell me, Trent. Ano 'yun?" 

Gusto ko sa kanya mismo manggaling ang totoo. Kung totoo nga na gusto ako ni Trent. Kung totoo nga ba ang sinabi sa akin ni Santi.

Umiwas siya nang tingin sa akin. I was even more shocked when he punched his wall. It was as if all his built up anger were thrown by that punch. I bit my lip as I felt my tears trickling down my face.

"You really want to know?" he told me. "I love you, Tria. I love you ever since. I love you, even though I know that you're in love with my brother. Even if I knew that he loves you too. I knew I didn't stand a chance with you.  I knew this was a fight I was gonna lose anyway, but I tried anyway." he swallowed hard, fists clenched. "I fucking tried."

I saw the tears in his eyes as he looked down at the floor. "You know, I was so focused on getting over you. I tried. I tried so hard to get you off my system, but I can't. I can't because you're here." he pointed at his heart. "I can't even do anything about it."

I sobbed. I can see in the pain in his eyes as he looked at me. "You are my only weakness, did you know that? One smile from you and my world is revolving again, one cry and my heart breaks into pieces."

"Other people think I have no fears or weaknesses. They think I have everything, but guess what? You were that one person I wanted the most to be mine, that I know to myself that I could never have." he said with so much pain. "I can never have you, Tria. I can never have you... because you are so damn in love with my brother who can't even fight for you..."

I felt the pain of his heart as he utter those words. "I know..." his voice broke. "I know that I'm not the one in your heart. Yet, I was still stupid enough to think that I do have a chance to be with you. I hoped that maybe one day, you'll love me back too. That there's a 1% chance na baka mahalin mo rin ako. I was wrong... you'll always be in love with my brother..."

I held onto my chest as I cried. Pinunasan niya ang mga luha sa mata niya. Nasasaktan ako na makita siyang ganito.

Bakit... bakit hindi ko man lang napansin?

How did I not notice his feelings for me?

Hinawakan niya ang pinto niya para umalis pero agad ko naman hinawakan ang kamay niya para pigilan siya.