MAYBE ° ashton irwin

𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺-𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘥

sunday
10 pm

I pull the curtains apart and crack open the white framed window. The end of february night is surprisingly clear, perfect for me to have some time to empty my mind and relax while observing the starry sky.

  I open the case and remove the black telescope from it. Adjusting the lenses, position and angle, I start observing the different constellations on the sky. I cherish this little time so much, this time where I'm alone with the stars, moon and the space. Although, the truth is that I only do this amount of effort to have this hour here if I'm sad, which I am.

  It has been a week, today being Sunday night, since Ashton dropped the bomb on all of us, not that I wasn't expecting it after that afternoon on the library. During the whole last week, I submerged myself in college work and on library work, declining all of the invites to hang out with my group of friends and ignoring the group texts. As I live with Sky, I hung out with her every day and Cal almost every day too. I know that my friends must be worried, or not because Sky and Cal met them frequently and probably told them about my state. I just want to be alone, I want to forget Ashton completely so I can hang out with everyone, including him, without having an awkward atmosphere around.

  I feel Snow's soft fur caress my exposed leg and I smile. The hall light hits me and I know Sky is at the door.

  "You can come in, Sky." I chuckle, still looking at the stars through the telescope.

  "I don't want to interrupt."

  "Don't be silly, you don't interrupt!" I smile at her "Well, I'm done here either way."

  I pack the object on its case again and place it on the corner of my room. I let a sad sigh escape my lips and my sight shifts to the white cat sleeping on her fluffy bed. I know that Sky is a little worried about me as I barely talk about the matter, at least after saturday.

  "Athena, are you really okay?" She asks for the 20th time this week.

  The anger, disappointment and sadness towards Ashton burn inside of me and I feel a huge desire to both cry and yell. Unfortunately, I choose the second one and let go of all the emotions I've been bottling up this whole week.

  "I'M NOT OKAY, SKY, I'M NOT!" I start and sadly I can't stop "I'M SAD, I'M ANGRY, I'M DISAPPOINTED IN ASHTON FOR BEING STUPID AND IN ME, BECAUSE I'M A DUMB AND NAIVE GIRL THAT HE PLAYED WITH AND THROWN AWAY AND THAT IS STUPID ENOUGH TO BE HERE SAD AND STILL THINKING ABOUT HIM, WHEN HE'S THERE WITH SOMEONE ELSE."

  At this point the tears that I didn't spill the whole week, trying to put my strong mask on, are rolling down my face and the sobs, that were trapped on my throat, come out. I'm so angry at myself for still crying over him, I deserve better, much better than someone who doesn't care truly about me.

  I feel Sky's arms wrapping around me and and hug her back, what would I do without her.

  "Athena, it's okay to feel that way! Maybe you didn't realize that you liked Ashton this much until this happened, but hun, u have to talk about it so you can move on." I listen to her whispers and slowly I stop crying.

  "Ugh I'm a mess right now." we laugh "You are right, after this little, I don't even know what that was, " I chuckle "I do feel better and I think is time to get back to hang out with everyone and meet new people, I can't stay trapped in this situation forever, I'm not getting back with Ashton and that's settled as he has a girlfriend so, it's time for me to move on!"

  "Yes girl! That's the attitude! Next weekend we are going something with the group for sure, they are all worried about you!" Sky exclaims.

  "I'm really sorry, but now Athena is back!" Sky does a little victory dance and I joking her, laughing.