-TWO-

Part 26

Lili's POV:

Lyam was in my arms, while he was being fed through his tube on his nose, just 2 days old but 8 weeks premature. 

L-"Cole, wanna hold him this time?"

C-"To be honest Lil, I've never held a newborn baby, and he is so small I'm scared to hurt him"

L-"What? Cole, you should have said something. Come on, just cross your arms like that, it's easy."

C-"He is so small, it almost feels unreal."

Cole was in baby heaven, he looked amazed at our tiny son. I pushed the other crib closer to us.

L-"I wish I could hold you, Lukey."

Lyam was spitting out his binky

L-"Come on lyam, you have to learn so that you can drink out of a bottle" 

C-"And then you come home with us."

The days flew by, and I was finally able to move around without being in pain and the babies were doing better. Cole was going home every night, and I stayed in the hospital with the babies. It was really hard not being able to hold them whenever I wanted. The nurses were telling me to go home, but I couldn't, not

L-"And you two are going to grow up in a crazy place. It's called set. And you are going to be with so many fun people, Cami always has something to say and plays around a lot. KJ is mostly doing crazy things and being funny. He is the loudest and he has a funny accent, I know you are going to love him. Then there is Mads, she is going to take the best care of you, but from far away, she is scared of holding babies. And Casey is going to sing a lot and make you laugh at his jokes."

Co-"And what about me?"

I looked up smiling, he was at the door, looking at me,

L-"That, is your dad. He has an annoying voice, but you will get used to it."

Co-"Is that all?"

L-"That's about it."

Co-"The nurse talked to me. You need to go home today Lili, they are going to be here for a few more weeks, at least. You can come back in the morning, but for now, we are eating dinner and going home."

L-"Cole I can't leave them here alone."

Co-"Lili. They are going to be in the best hands I promise, these nurses have so much experience I promise they will be fine. Now I need to talk to you about Ella. We can't have her on set the whole day anymore. She needs to interact with other children and now that the babies are born it would give us some time without Ella requiring our attention."

L-"Yeah that's a good idea, and the schools are also starting now so it's not like she is joining halfway through the year."

Co-"I saw some possible schools online. One of them is a small private school that teaches all the way to 5th grade, and it is super close to set so we could pick her up in between scenes, without the car. We can go there and take a tour tomorrow."

L-"But what about the babies?"

Co-"So, my plan is: we sleep at home, I drop you off here on my way to set, then I pick you up during lunch break and we go visit the school. Then we go out for lunch, and I bring you back here, then when I wrap I'll come here and bring Ella."

L-"Deal."

And when we left the babies were asleep, which made it harder, knowing they would wake up without me. I was up most of the night, it was so hard not knowing how they were, what if Luke had gotten worse? what if Lyam had his first full bottle and I wasn't there with him? I thought I was failing as a mom.

C-"Hey what's wrong?"

L-"I'm worried Cole. After I gave birth I thought I was going to take them home, as most moms do. And I need to be there for them, but I can't, it's like they aren't even my children."

C-"Lili, you sound crazy. You have been there every second since they were born, you are their mom, no matter how many days you spend away from them. And Lyam just needs to pass the feeding test twice and he will be home. And yesterday, Luke was 30 minutes without breathing support and he was able to cry without it, in no time, he will be home too."

L-"But what if Lyam feels like he is the favorite? Because he came home first."

C-"Both of them will always say they are the favorite, but deep down they know we love them both the same." 

L-"How will we tell them apart. In the hospital, it's easy, they have big nametags, but when they come home, what if we mix them up?"

C-"I have no idea. But I know we are going to find a crazy way and with time, they are going to grow different."

We talked for a little bit longer and with every sentence, I became less stressed. The next morning I went back to their little room in the NICU.

N-"Oh, you came just in time. I was about to feed Lyam."

And that morning, he was able to do his full feeding by bottle, without using the tube.

L-"Lyam, you did it! In no time you are going to be home with us."

I put him down and he started crying.

L-"Hey Leo, calm down, I need to check your brother but I'll be right back."

Lyam didn't cry much, but when he did, it was so loud and powerful that his nickname quickly became Leo, meaning lion.

Cole picked me up and we went to tour the school, it was really small, but we loved it. Ella's class had only 10 students. We decided to sign her up for that school. 

D-"So Ella, you can choose, go home with mom and dad or stay here for the rest of the day."

Ella looked at Cole.

C-"Mom has to go back to your brothers, but you can come with me to work. Cami and Mads are there. Or you can stay here and make new friends."

E-"I want to stay with daddy."

This was what we were scared would happen, she had never really been with other kids, she hung out with adults the whole day and now she doesn't want to be with kids her age.

The rest of the day was okay, and Cole took Ella to the store to buy her some things for her first day of school tomorrow. 

C-"Lil, I have some bad news."

L-"What?"

C-"I completely forgot about the TCA's. We are going to have our flight tomorrow."

L-"WHAT?!"

C-"It's on the 13th. 

L-"We can ask Roberto to miss it."

C-"I tried, we can't. But I can book tickets for after tomorrow and we get there 2 hours before the event. And then another one at 7 am on the next day "

L-"They are 6 days old, Luke still needs fucking oxygen to breath properly. How am I supposed to just leave them? And what about Ella? We aren't even going to be here for her first days of school."

C-"Lili, I know it's going to be hard. But we knew this was going to happen. We are actors, it's our job, and it's not easy to take some weeks off, like in office jobs. And we are going to miss out on a lot, but we are also going to be here for a lot."

L-"What if something happens, it's not like we are around the corner."

C-"I know, but nothing's going to happen, I promise."

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This is boring. 

I don't understand why you even like reading this, but I am so grateful you do.

Should I stop this book, and instead do one-shots (with the same storyline), almost like an epilogue. Like their milestones or funny moments or something like that idk.

Thanks for reading!