Hate's a Type Of Love (Jean X Reader)

18. Scouts

Reader POV

I stood beside my cot in the dorms with my meager belongings in a bag at my feet, taking a moment to come to terms with my decision last week. I can't believe I betrayed myself to join the Scouts instead of the Garrison. This was insane. It was the logical option, all events considered, but still insane. There was no way I would come back alive from my first expedition beyond Wall Rose, but such was my reality... Even if it was difficult to accept.

"(Name) come on, the wagons are here!" A cadet i didn't know called to me from the dorm building entrance. I turned to look at her and then a bit sadly back at what had been my living space for the past 3 years. "I'm gonna miss this place..." I muttered under my breath and picked up my bag to hurry out of the dorms and follow my fellow cadets to the wagons that would be taking us to our new living quarters at the Survey Corps HQ.

I found Jean already climbing into one of the wagons by the time I got there and I rushed to get the last seat across from him in that wagon. "You were almost late. Still think this was a good idea?" He asked, poking a bit of fun as he chuckled. I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the training camp grounds as the horses started to pull our wagon along. "I already miss this place. I mean, we spent 3 years here and we lost so many friends who worked just as hard as we did to get to this point. It's hard to think of any of this as a good idea. I don't want to leave but staying here would also be a constant reminder that we couldn't save everyone..." I heard Jean sigh heavily across from me and I turned to look at him again. "No need to get down about it. I know how you feel. But we gotta put it behind us. We're real soldiers now, it's only going to get worse from here now that we're Scouts." He held his hand out to me and I took it with a light frown, watching as he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. "Hey, it may turn into a shit show but at least we're still together. We can face whatever is to come by each other's side. I won't let anything happen to you, promise."

It was an empty promise, I knew that. But hearing Jean say something like that made my heart flutter and I did feel better about everything, even if it was just for a moment. But he was right. Things were only going to get worse but at least we'd be together for it. That was more than I could have wished for with what happened at Trost.

~~~~

Once the carriage stopped at our destination, Jean and I were the first off. I walked around to get a look at the place that would be our new home from now until we died. "Wow... I didn't expect it to be a castle. This place is huge." I said to Jean who came to stand beside me as we looked on in awe at the Survey Corps HQ building that was, quite literally, a castle. It was amazing, nothing like the supply base in Trost. It must be at least twice as big and more fortified.

We were shuffled along to the main yard where we were greeted by some senior cadets and broken up into our new squads. We were told where the dorms were as well as the stables and storage area. They gave us all a list of general duties and sent us off to get acquainted with the grounds. Naturally, I walked around with Jean when I found him again. "Hey... Isn't that Eren?" I pointed across the yard in the direction of the stables where Mikasa and Armin had wandered off to not a few moments before. Jean frowned at the mention of his name but still looked over where I was pointing and crossed his arms. "Yeah. Might as well go say hi. Come on." Well that wasn't the reaction I was expecting, but perhaps Jean wanted to make his time here less of hassle by fighting less with Eren? I wasn't sure but either way, it would be nice if they got along a little better since we weren't competing for ranks anymore and were all working together as part of the same regiment.

I followed after him as he led the way over but stayed quiet as he and Eren spoke. It was a shock for him that Jean was even here after having every chance to join the MPs like he wanted. It was only when Eren acknowledged me that I greeted him. "I'm glad you're both here." I smiled slightly at seeing Eren happy to some degree. He was my friend after all. I opened my mouth to ask how he was doing but was interrupted by an annoyed shout from a window above us. "You didn't finish cleaning, get back in here and do it again you shitty brat."

All of us looked up at the angry man with a white bandana tied around his head and one around his neck. I exchanged a look with Jean when Eren ran off after saluting the man. "I wouldn't wanna be on that guys squad, tell you that." I laughed and led the way back to the main entrance to the HQ so we could bring our things to our assigned dorms. Or maybe they were real bedrooms this time considering it was a castle? I wasn't entirely sure but it couldn't be worse than the barracks at the training grounds, that's for sure.

"I wonder how long it will be before our first expedition." Jean commented absentmindedly, just starting a conversation as we walked through the halls after being given directions to our rooms. "After everything that happened with Eren... Probably sooner than we'd like, if I'm being honest." It was hard to think about that, but I knew Jean didn't mean anything bad by going with this subject. He hummed thoughtfully and stopped walking when we reached his room. "You're probably right. But I won't let anything happen to you, remember? I promised. And I'm nothing if not reliable." He jerked a thumb at himself in a mock macho pose that made me laugh. "You're a goof, that's what you are. But thank you for the reassurance, oh trusty steed." Jean pouted at my teasing but laughed a moment later. "I'll see ya at meal time, okay?"

I nodded and stepped forward, leaning up to place a soft kiss on his lips before turning to head off to my room, a lopsided happy smile on my face. With how many times I'd come within a hair's breadth of death's cold clutches recently, I wasn't taking any of the small moments of love and affection I had with Jean for granted. My room wasn't too far from his, in fact it was only a few rooms down the hall on the opposite side. I opened the door and set my stuff down on the empty bed against the right wall.

After setting down my things, I walked over to the window and pushed open the shutters to look out over the stables not far below me. I even had a view of part of the training grounds where I assumed light sparring would happen on a daily basis. This place was huge and maybe a bit gloomy looking but it actually wasn't so bad. The beds were comfy looking... I hadn't tried mine yet but it looked nicer than the ones at the Cadet Training Grounds. The views were quite nice and the place was huge, and majestic in a way that surprisingly fit the Scouts perfectly...

I was drawn from my thoughts when the door to the room squeaked open and closed. I turned around to see a girl with short red hair. She smiled at me and she looked very kind. Guess we'd find out if my first judgement was right or not in the near future... "You must be one of the new recruits. My name is Petra Ral. Guess we're roommates." She walked over and sat on her bed against the left wall. "Nice to meet you, Petra. I'm (F/N) (L/N)."