Death Boy and Sunshine (Solangelo)

12- anniversary

Will POV

It's Nico and I's 1 year anniversary today. Exactly one year since I began dating the cutest death boy ever. Some things have been rough, but we've always made it through. He helps me when I feel upset or stressed, even when I'm too anxious to leave the Apollo cabin, and I help him deal with dysphoria and anything else that pops up. I'm so grateful for Nico and I could not imagine living without him; I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I plan to tell him this tonight on our date, but I'm nervous. 

Nico POV

Of course I had to get my period on the day of Will and I's anniversary; just my luck. The day goes by painfully slow- literally, I have cramps all day. I'm dysphoric and not in a good mood, so Will dissapearing all day does not improve my day. When he finally shows up at dinner, I'm craving the taste of Will, so I instantly drag him back to my cabin. 

"Whoa Neeks, slow down," Will says as he stumbles behind me. When we arrive at my cabin, I slam the door behind us and kiss him, hard. He stops me as I try to take off his shirt.

"Nico, I hate to ruin your mood but we have a date to get to. We can definitely do this after." He says, smiling as I pout. "Fine, but this date better be good." I say, getting my jacket. 

"Oh it will be, don't worry." He replies with a smirk.

And it was; definitely the best date he's ever taken me on.

He had Percy set up a picnic at the bottom of the ocean, and we sat in a bubble of air as we eat and enjoyed the privacy of the water. I'm dysphoric but somehow manage to forget about all of my issues when I look in Will's eyes. About halfway through, Will pulls something out of his pocket. 

"I know we said we're not doing gifts, but this isn't just for the anniversary; it's a long term thing." He says, and I'm confused until he continues, "Those first few days in the infirmary feel so long ago, but I couldn't imagine having done this past year without you. And I can't imagine living my life without you, so I got you this." He opens the small box to show me a beautiful ring, in obsidian black. It's then that I notice he's wearing the same one on his right ring finger. 

"W-what is this?" I ask; surely he can't be proposing? That'd be ridiculous, we're not even 18! He must've seen the anxiety on my face because he quickly says "It's a promise ring; I promise to be the best I can be for you, and eventually I'll replace it with a marriage band. Until then, as long as we both wear the rings, we're connected. I had Leo set up the ring so that I can tap it and your ring will receive it."

He slides the ring onto my finger and I experimentally tap a message onto it in morse code: I Love You. Will smiles at me and says "I love you too,"

"I didn't know that you know Morse code." I say, embarrassed; we've said I love you, but it's definitely still a new thing for us. He kisses my forehead and says "I learned it just for you, after Leo told me the ring was possible." I nod, lost in thought as I lay back in his arms.

We lay there, on the ocean floor, for a while longer before he whispers, "Do you mean it?" 

"Mean what?" I ask, confused.

"When you say you love me, do you mean it." He asks again, shyly. I'm shocked that Will is the self conscious one in our relationship for once.

I look up at him and reply "Yes. I've loved you for a while now, but I finally figured it out a few months ago when you laughed during capture the flag. Every day I remember it when you hold my hand, when I get lost in your eyes, when you repeatedly choose to be with me when there's plenty of other fish in the sea. I love you, William Solace." The words just flow out of me and every single one is true. 

"That's the first time I've heard you be all romantic. Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend." He says jokingly, and I stick out my tongue. Then I hear him say "I love you too," and my heart warms. 

He's silent for a bit, before he leans down and kisses me gently. We have a very nice make out session until Percy comes down and ruins it. He's on the outside of our bubble and says "Curfew is in 10," to which Will and I nod. 

"Back to my cabin?" I say, and Will nods. A few minutes later, we're waving goodbye to Percy and walking hand in hand to the Hades cabin. Thank the gods Hazel is at Camp Jupiter right now, because that means we get the cabin to ourselves. 

We resume our heated make out session as soon as we get inside, and things go great until he touches my chest. Of course I have my binder on, but suddenly my dysphoria is overwhelming. I tense up at his touch, and Will says "Sorry, we can stop." but I decide to push on, resuming our kissing. I don't want to ruin the evening for Will.  Will tries to avoid touching my chest, but a few minutes later his hands slip up my shirt. At first I dont mind, but then he goes further up and I can feel his hands under my binder. 

"Will." I say, panicking, but he just keeps kissing me. 

"WILL STOP" I say, louder. He gets the message and freezes. With his hands still under my binder. "Oh gods Neeks, I- I'm so sorry." He says, removing his hands, but the damage is done. I'm in full panic mode. Worse than that, I'm in shut down mode.

I run into the bathroom and I crouch on the floor, back against the wall, knees to my chest. The door rattles and I faintly hear Will say "Neeks? Open up please." But I'm too panicked to comprehend that.

My thoughts are racing; guys shouldn't have boobs, Will hates me, why did I have to be born like this, why me, why now, on today of all days? My thoughts get to be too much, and I forget how to breathe. I force myself into shut down mode: forced dissociation. I start to go numb and my senses fade, everything muffled. 

Will POV

I sit on the other side of the bathroom door, and once I hear him stop hyperventilating I knock, asking to come in. No response. I ask again a few minutes later, still no response. I'm worried because Nico always responds, even during panic attacks. I decide to wait it out, and knock every few minutes, all with the same silence as the reply.

Nico POV

I come back from dissociating, and I'm disoriented at first; why am I on the floor? Then I remember what happened and get worried; how long was I dissociating? Is Will still here? I decide to find out, and open the door. Will stands up quickly, and looks at me, his face tear stained and his eyes are puffy, yet he still manages to look hot. 

"You-you can't do that Nico. I- I thought you had done something drastic. Why didn't you answer me? It's been 5 hours, you can't just isolate yourself for 5 hours with no explanation." Will yells, and I flinch. His gaze softens and he tries to hug me, but I step back and he looks hurt.

I don't say anything as I go to sit on my bed, and Will joins me. "Babe, what happened?" He asks gently, looking concerned. 

I take a deep breath and think. "I-I'm on my period. And m dysphoria was fine during our date because you helped distract me, but... when you touched my c-chest, under my binder, I-I couldn't take it. I shut down completely; full dissociation mode." I explain, nervous that he'll get mad that I shut down for something so small. Instead he grabs my hand and squeezes it. 

"Nico, you can always tell me when to stop. I know we've never done more than make out, but anything that makes you uncomfortable, you tell me. Got it?" I nod, looking down. 

"I'm sorry. Dating shouldn't be this hard, I shouldn't get upset over stuff like this." I apologize, but Will shakes his head and says "No, Nico. Don't apologize for having boundaries, I promise you that it's okay." 

"I- I do want to... to go further with you. Just... not today. I- I've been thinking about it and I think I'm ready. Today just was different because of my dysphoria." I say, embarrassed.

Will moves closer and hugs me from behind, avoiding my chest. "I will wait for infinity for you, if it means you being comfortable. Now let's get some sleep, yeah? It's almost 5 am." I smile mischievously.

"How about... we don't sleep and continue where we left off. Might as well pull an all nighter at this point." I say, and Will smiles. 

"I love you Death Boy," He whispers before kissing me gently. I kiss back, and we spend the early morning tangled in each other's arms, happy and content.