el océano me está llamando

Simula

Dream

"Help..."

"Tulong..."

How come I can't reach them. I can't reach their hands, they're drowning!

Di ko alam kung sino uunahin ko, ang dami nila at dalawa lang ang kamay ko.

"...Wait, hold on guys," I said desperately habang tinutulongan sila.

After reaching someone's hands tumingin ako sa mga taong importante sakin na humihingi ng tulong, but I was too late. Di ko na mahanap yung mga kamay nila, they're all gone, suddenly.

What's happening? Ba't kami andito sa dagat? The weather is obviously not fine for beach activities! Who planned this shit?

Suddenly the change of location.

Andito ako sa old school ko. The place is so gloomy, I decided to come here to check them. After what happened sa beach, I must check them.

I failed to check who survived and who didn't. I blamed myself, I was worthless.

Naglakad ako sa hallway ng school kasama si mama nang makita ko ang isa kong kaibigan ko, si Joan. I looked at her and she looked at me like she wasn't please to see me at umiwas siya ng tingin.

Dumiretso kami sa canteen, I saw my other friends there and unlike Joan's reaction they were shocked seeing me. I just looked at them not smiling, afraid that they won't smile back.

The canteen was so busy so I decided to roam around the campus hoping to see my friends roaming around the campus.

It was a gloomy afternoon, maaga pa man ay madilim na ang kalangitan nagbabadyang uulan.

As I walk at every corner, I saw no one of my friends but other students-strangers.

Di ko man lang napansin na nakasunod na pala si mama sakin, she told me na we should visit the school's chapel.

Habang palapit na kami sa chapel I saw the familiar faces of my friends' parents. Di ko alam kung bakit, naninikip bigla ang puso ko and the rain start pouring. Di na ako nag atubiling mag payong kasi wala naman kaming dala ni mama. Hinayaan nalang naming mabasa sa ulan. Who cares, wala akong pake.

Inside that chapel, nakita kong may kabaong sa gitna. And beside that coffin I saw a familiar face na naka big frame.

Angelie...

Sa harap may bandang gilid naman ay andon ang mama niya, nakatulala. Tumigil kami sa paglalakad, I can't help but blame myself. I was there, I was fucking there pero di ko sila nagawang tulongan.

Di na kami pumasok, the guilt was inside of me eating the whole of me. Kahit nababasa sa ulan wala na akong pake kahit nalalamig ako. I felt so numb.

Habang nasa labas ng chapel just watching other people come and go. Di man sinasadyan but I can hear their whispers, blaming for my friend's death. Don't worry, I blamed myself too.

May iilan na ngumingiti sakin pag lumalabas sila galing sa chapel. I even saw Angelie's mom smiled at me, which I don't deserve.

I just stood there, looking guilty. Di man lang ako lumapit at humingi ng tawad. Di ko kaya, takot ako. Takot ako sa lahat.

Ba't ganito? Ba't ako andito? I should wake up!

Suddenly, andito na naman ako sa hallway ng school, beside sa gymnasium.

There I saw my childhood best friend, she looked at me. Naramdaman ko din ang saya nang makita ko siya, she's alive!

Tumakbo ako palapit sakanya, wanting for a hug. She smiled at me but before I can hug her, she vanished.

I felt so alone...

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. Habol ang aking hininga at mabalis ng tibok ng puso ko. Naramdaman ko parin ang sakit, the feeling of being so lonely.

Anong klaseng panaginip iyon?