el océano me está llamando

Kabanata 5

Wind

We enjoyed the day. We took a lot of photos for remembrance. Nang sumapit ang hapon we decided to clean our place para konti nalang ang lilinisan mamaya pag uuwi na kami.

After cleaning, ang karaoke naman ang napagtripan namin. We sang so loud, ang dahilan kung bakit minsan ay pinagtitinginan na kami, we couldn't care more basta masaya kami.

Lence is now holding the mic singing his selected song,

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess

'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

We are swaying our body as Lence sings, nang mag chorus na ay sinabayan na namin siya.

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Pasigaw namin itong kinanta.

At this time, I couldn't ask for more. I have my friends who are always there to make me happy when I'm sad and I felt so lonely.

The singing session went on. Nang naubosan na akong kakantahin ay umalis muna ako at napagdesisyonang pumunta sa baba kung nasaan ang maalat na tubig, dagat.

Walang masyadong tao roon, saktong huling baitang ng hagdan ay tubig dagat na agad ang maapakan. There are not-so-big rocks, sakto lang para maupuan kahit bata.

Umupo ako sa isang bato at inilubog ang aking mga paa. I closed my eyes when the salty wind touches my small body. I suddenly feel calm and at peace.

Lately,  lagi kong napapanaginipan ang dagat. I didn't know why. It wasn't just a simple dream but I can say it was a nightmare. My friends drowning and me who wasn't able to reach their hands. Nararamdaman ko pa rin ang bigat sa puso ko dulot sa panaginip na iyon.

Maybe, meeting the sea would also give peace and calms my dreams like how it gives me just now. I sighed.

Nagtampisaw muna ako saglit sa dagat bago ako umakyat at bumalik para maka pagbihis na, wala na akong balak maligo sa pool ulit. I'm already tired.

Nagkakantahan parin sila nang nakabalik ako, ang taas ng tolerance nila sa happiness. I smiled. Nagpaalam akong magbibihis na,

"Ang aga pa." Jane said while holding the mic.

"Di na kasi ako lalangoy, napagod na din katawan ko."

"Woi, sabay na ako Mikay." Habol ni Jane, I nodded at her at sabay na kaming pumunta sa shower area.

"Mikay, pahinge shampoo."

"Sige," at inabot ko sa kanya sa kabilang shower.

Nang matapos ay inaayos ko na ang mga gamit ko. I was so focus on doing my things na di ko napansin na nakalabas na pala si Hany sa cubicle and she was intently looking at me in the mirror.

"What?"

She just shrugged and handed my shampoo, "thanks."

"No problem."

We were both doing our things when she suddenly spoke, "you know what, mag dadalawang taon na tayong magkakilala pero I can't remember you shared something to us,  of course other than your rants and dislikes."

I look at her. She was still doing her things when she realized my eyes are on her, she look at me. "You never shared your problems or your secrets, Mikay. I'm sure you have one."

"I do, but it isn't that important and shareable." I smiled at her, she sighed.

"I was thinking that you don't trust us." Naramdaman kong may kalungkotan sa boses niyang iyon.

I smiled at her sincerely, "I'll share if I want to, Hany. I do trust you—I trust you my friends. Can I trust you all, right?" She nodded.

Bumalik na kami sa cottage namin, they were back at the pool again. While waiting, naglinis nalang ulit kami ni Hany para walang masyadong gagawin mamaya pag uuwi na.

When the guys are already satisfied ay nagshower na din sila.

I posted some photos of ours sa social media accounts ko.

When they're back ay saktong dumating na yung van nila Fort.

I look at those food na hindi naubos, sayang.
I was thinking to give it to those homeless people na makikita namin sa kalye habang nasa byahe.

"Ako na bibili sa styro," presinta ni Franz.

"Ako na sa kutsara at tinidor," si Niel.

"Ako na bibili," si Jane.

Fort look at Hany, "Ikaw, ano ambag mo?" raising his brows.

"Ako na sasama sa pagbili, leche." We laughed at that.

We stayed for awhile para ilagay sa styro ang mga pagkain, pinaghatihatian namin iyon.

When we're done, ay nagpaalam at nagpasalamat na din kami sa tita ni July, sa mga discounts.

"Salamat, pagpalain sana kayo ng Diyos," an old homeless woman said nang binigyan namin ng pagkain. We just smiled at her.

Di naging sayang ang mga pagkain dahil naibigay namin ito sa mga taong pakalat kalat lamang sa kalye. It was so unusual that they're so silent habang nasa biyahe, tulog na tulog ang mga birhen. Beside me is Hany na nakatulog sa balikat ko while Fort is using my lap as his pillow, mukha akong nanay nito...Onanay.

"Mikay, gising."

I opened my eyes, tulog parin si Hany sa gilid ko and the others were not there anymore. Nakarating na pala ako sa bahay. Di ko man lang napansin na nakatulog na pala ako.

Hinatid ako ni Fort sa loob ng bahay, he was helping my things.

"Lola, I'm home." Lola smiled at me at nag-bless kami pareho ni Fort.

"Thank God. Sabayan niyo na kami magdinner," pag-aya ni lola.

"Salamat po, pero di na po. Ihahatid ko pa po si Hany, tulog na tulog napagod po siguro."

"Ah, sige kung ganon. Mag ingat kayo." At nag-bless ulit si Fort kay lola at hinatid ko siya sa labas.

"Fort, mag-ingat kayo ha."

"Mag-ingat sila sakin."

"Gago, mag-ingat si Hany sayo." I laughed.

"Ako dapat ang mag-ingat sakanya!" Fort dramatically covered his body, hinampas ko siya.

"Sige na, mag-ingat kayo." Then I hug him.

Hinintay ko silang maka alis bago ulit pumasok sa loob ng bahay. As I look at the house, if I were somebody else I can say that I would be dreaming to have a house like this, kasi malaki at pangmayaman. Pero ako bilang naninirahan dito, I would have wish of something that not-so-big house but you can feel the warmth of your family. Something you can really call 'home'.

I may not be homeless literally but I'm homeless emotionally.

The cold wind of the night hugged my body, it feels so cold. Kasing lamig ng nararamdaman ko sa loob ng bahay na ito kung wala si lola sa tabi ko. I smiled bitterly, at least I can consider lola as my home.

May nauuwian pa rin pala ako.