el océano me está llamando

Kabanata 1

Understand

After remembering that weird dream of mine di na ulit ako makatulog. I lay myself in my bed tapping my fingers at my tummy and just staring the ceiling.

It just so weird to have a dream like that. I sighed. Masyado pang tirik ang araw para magkaroon ng nightmare.

Was it a nightmare? Or a glimpse of my past?

Umiling ako sa sariling naisip. That must just might be a nightmare, wala naman akong maalala na may pangyayaring ganon. Bawal nga kaming mag beach ng mga kaibigan ko.

Napatingin ako sa may pinto nang narinig kong may kumakatok.

"Come in."

"Mikay, you should eat your lunch it's already late. That's not a good diet, apo." Lola said worriedly.

"Yes, lola. Nakatulog lang po ako," bumangon na ako sa higaan at sumama na sa baba.

Di na ako sinamahan ni lola kumain, she said she'll be at her garden to rest. After eating pinuntahan ko si lola sa garden, she's just there rocking her chair closed eyes. She looks so peaceful.

"Lola," I called her out

"Hmmm" still closed eyes. Lumapit pa ako sakanya at umupo sa may tabing upuan.

"Kailan po uwi nila mama?"

"Di ko din alam, apo." she opened her eyes and look at me like naawa siya sa'kin, I smiled at her. Sanay naman na ako.

"Apo, you should understand that your parents are busy. Para naman ito sayo."

"I know and I understand po, lola. And I will always understand." I then look away.

Lumaki ako kasama sila mama and papa but lola was the one who was and always there. I've craving for their time and affection since then, but all I can say that I still believe that they love me sa ibang paraan nga lang nilang pinapakita, working hard for my future.

I understand, I always understand. Sabi pa nga ni lolo, when he was still alive, that my parents are blessed to have a daughter like me. Hindi daw nagrerebelde at understands them always.

Ano naman kasing mapapala ko sa pagrerebelde? Sakit sa ulo at dagdag problema lang iyon sa parents ko. To understand and be a good daughter is all I could do for now.

Naiinggit man minsan sa mga kaklase ko tuwing family day, di ko na dinedemand yung oras nila para sakin. I should still be thankful that my parents are there, kesa sa mga iniwan at walang parents na mga bata who wished that kahit wala mang time mga parents nila, at least they're still there by their side supporting them.

I stayed with lola for a little longer and talked about other stuffs and my childhood memories na nakakatawa. Oh, how I missed being a child.

Nagpaalam na ako ni lola na umakyat na sa kwarto at gagawa na ako ng mga kailangang gawin sa school na napaka dami pala. Thank God ginising ako ni lola kaninang umaga para makapagsimba, so I have to spent the rest afternoon doing school works.

Lumipas ang oras at napansin kong madilim na sa labas. I guess it's dinner time. Bumaba na ako sa kusina at tamang tama bumukas ang main door namin, finally they're home.

I went straight to the 2 people who just arrived. I kissed mama and papa as I welcome them home.

"How's work?" I ask them.

"Doing great, honey. Let's eat dinner so we can rest, shall we?" At hinila na ako ni mama papuntang kusina leaving papa there in the sala.

Once in a blue moon lang kaming sabay sabay kumain sa hapag and we ate silently. Di man kami magkakasama lagi pero ramdam at alam ko kung may problema ba or wala. I look at my parents, nagkatinginan kami ni lola and she just shook her head.

This isn't new but nakakalungkot pa rin, minsan na nga lang kami magkakasama ganito pa. Kahit gusto ko mang tanongin kung kamusta ang business trip nila or kahit magkamustahan man lang ay di ko magawa.

Si mama ang unang natapos kumain and she kissed us both lola and said her goodnight. She left without waiting us to finish our food nor kissed papa. It only means di na naman sila bati.

Papa sighed. He smiled at us at sinundan na si mama sa kwarto nila.

Lola and I continued eating and after umakyat na din kami sa taas para matulog na.

What a day.

It's already pass nine at di pa rin ako makatulog so I decided to make my own milk para pampatulog.

Habang inuubos ko yung gatas ay pumasok si papa sa kusina.

"Can't sleep?" Papa asked while getting some water from the fridge.

"Yes," sagot ko. "How about you, papa? You should be sleeping na since your tired from your trip."

"Your mama is still mad at me. I can't sleep peacefully just like that, at paano ko susuyuin kung nasa kwarto siya ng lola mo natulog?" Papa said worriedly.

I find that cute na pag nag-aaway silang dalawa kay lola tumatakbo si mama but at the same time I'm worried, it only means na medyo malaki yung pinag-aawayan nila.

I smiled. "Don't worry papa, for sure lola is giving mama wisdom words."

"Goodnight, papa. I'll go sleep now. You should take some rest, okay?"

Di nagtagal nang humiga ako sa kama ko ay nakatulog na din ako.

"Seryoso ka? Dito ka na ulit?"

I look at her and nodded lightly.

Ang sakit ng ulo ko....