Chapter Five: Cuddle

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(Starlight by Starset. Acoustic version.)
-Raiden's POV- I silently watch Kuai Liang sit across from me in the dining hall. He had been given a mug of hot chocolate from Bi-Han, which seemed to improve his mood. He sips the drink quietly, glancing at me with tired eyes. Dark shadows had formed under his bloodshot blue eyes, making him look sleep deprived.

"They told me everything," I begin calmly. "How you reacted. You exhausted yourself after your explosive episode. How did you feel during that time?"
He grips the mug tighter, then sets it on the table. Watching the steam rise up, he answers honestly.
"Angry at myself," He murmurs. "Scared, worthless. Regret after my outburst..." He sighs. "And tired. Just...really tired."

"And how do you feel currently?"
"Ashamed," he answers, a hand going through his black hair. "Upset. Wanting to cry or punch something. But also glad that you guys didn't push me away. I'm happy that all of you are stubborn, even when I was at my breaking point. All of you stuck by my side, even when I...t-tried to harm you..."

He sniffs. "Cry if you need to. Let your sadness out, it will help in recovery."
****
-Bi-Han's POV- The rest of us wait outside the dining hall, hearing Kuai cry again behind the closed door.
"I don't know what to do anymore!" We hear him weep. "I know now that I'm not a burden, but....I feel like I am! You guys can keep telling me all you want that I'm not, but I need to start telling myself that."

Hanzo smiles sadly at this. At least Kuai is now beginning to understand. "Why do you hate yourself, Kuai Liang?" Raiden's voice is even, calm.
"Why....?" He sounds caught off guard, like this is the first time someone had ever asked him that question.

"Ah...I...I thought that self-hatred would make me stronger." He admits, making me gasp lightly. Hanzo looks startled. Tundra just nods solemnly.
"All my life, I've been looked down on as weak. First by father, then by Bi-Han...I thought that was normal, pushing your body to your limit."

"Oh, Kuai...." I murmur, placing a hand over my heart.
"Now that Bi-Han has told me that doing such a thing is wrong, I realize that I messed up. I love him, Raiden. He is the only family I have left. I don't want him to worry."
"And Hanzo?" Raiden asks.

"Hanzo is a dear friend of mine. Ironic, since we used to hate each other."
Hanzo chuckles at this with tears in his eyes. Kuai laughs as well, sniffing.
"Ugh, my head hurts."
"We can continue this later," Raiden murmurs.
"That may be the best plan." Kuai agrees.

A moment later, Raiden opens the door. "You may come in. Give him space, but let him know that you will be there." Raiden holds the door open, allowing us to walk in. "Hey, guys," Kuai smiles weakly, finishing off his drink.

"Hey," I say gently, pulling up a chair and sitting close by. "How are you doing?" Kuai shrugs, setting the mug down. "A bit better. But my head hurts from crying so much." He jokes, cracking a shaky smile.

"At least you're better," Hanzo states, sitting down as well. "We'll always be here for you, Kuai. Remember that." He nods. "Yeah, I know." He blushes. "God, I'm so sorry...." He hiccups.

"No, no," I get up and walk over, wiping his tears away. "You had a right to lash out. We get it. You were frustrated. Just please don't cry." He heaves out a heavy sigh. "Okay..."
"Let's go to your room, m'kay? I'll try to make you feel better. How does that sound?" I croon.
"Sure. Would that be okay with you guys...?"
"Do you even need to ask?" Hanzo smiles.
"Go ahead." Tundra nods.

Once Kuai and I are alone, I lay down in his bed. Kuai looks at the fireplace, then at me.
"Come here," I motion to the empty side of his bed.
He walks over and lays beside me.
"I want to give you affection, Kuai. Just to make you feel good. Will you let me? It's your choice."

Kuai blinks in surprise, then nods, smiling slightly.
I hold him close, rubbing his back gently. He gasps at this, blushing. "Bi-Han..." he inhales sharply.
I smile, looking down at him. "Relax. Just relax, little brother." I croon. His tense body eases in my grip.

I lean down and kiss his forehead. He lets out a soft squeak, then covers his mouth. I laugh, drawing away. "What on Earth was that sound?" I tease.
He stares at me with wide eyes.
"That was embarrassing...." he looks away.
"Well," I taunt, leaning closer. "I thought it was adorable."
I kiss his face a few times, earning a startled laugh from him. "Bi-Han! Stop! Ahahaha! You're giving me too much affection." I stop, drawing away while ruffling his hair.

He huffs, trying to look offended, but laughs instead.
I pull him into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're doing okay now. This is going to sound like a really dumb question but, would you want to have a snowball fight later?" His blue eyes light up. "You serious?"

I nod. "Just like the old days. You can even help me build a snow fort."
He laughs again. Good. Each happy sound that comes out of him puts me more at ease. "You're on, Bi-Han. This means war."
I smirk. "Then may the best sibling win."

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