" I don't think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a poisonous situation with someone you love deeply." I said to the therapist. She nodded her head before replying, " I agree.."
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" when do you think he will be back?" I asked Mercedes as she shrugged her shoulders. Kentrell had gone to make a drop , and left me and Mercedes at his crib like always , claiming those trips weren't safe and that he didn't want either one of us to get hurt. I looked outside the window seeing my mom's car parked in the driveway .
I looked back over at Mercedes and she sighed at me , already knowing what I was thinking . " no, you don't have enough time to go over there before he gets back , and I'm not getting in trouble for you.." she said to me . I sighed and sat back down on the living room couch .
Kentrell didn't want me seeing my mom anymore . He claimed that she wasn't good for me and that she just made my life a living hell. He said that if I was gonna be with him , he'd want me to cut her off , he said that him and Mercedes could be the only people in my life . He said that I had to move in with him , and Kentrell didn't say this part but basically, he didn't want me to have any contact with the outside world .
A lot had happen in those three months , I mean a lot! Now today , I know that my mom did love me , she did want what was best for me . Kentrell was brain washing me , he was brain washing me and Mercedes, but I hadn't realized because I didn't want to . I wanted to believe that Kentrell did all of this simply because he loved me. I wanted to believe that he beat me because he loved me . I wanted to believe he lied to me because he loved me. I wanted to believe that he damaged my soul, because he loved me ..
I know it sounds stupid , but you have to understand, Kentrell was very manipulative. He had a way of playing games with your mind . A way of making you believe that what was wrong , was right.
I looked over at Mercedes as she stared into the light of the living room tv . I seen pain in her eyes as she watched her favorite show , The Adam's Family, and that , that was the only thing that stopped me from saying " fuck this shit , he ain't gon tell me who I can see and who I cannot see." And going to see my mother .
But I knew what would happen to her if I did , Kentrell had made rules for us . If one does something wrong , we both get in trouble . So I knew that if I did, he would beat both me and her ass . And snap on her about claiming that she " let me" do it .
Your probably wondering, who's Mercedes? Well , Mercedes was me and Kentrell's girlfriend. Me and her had a bond so tight .. we always had each other's back's because we both were being abused by someone we loved , and we didn't want to go , we didn't want to leave our only source of happiness. We stuck together like glue , and surprisingly, we were never jealous of one another . Or so I thought . But I soon came to realize that that was also a lie .
I had realized that I made the right decision because in came Kentrell walking through the front door. He looked so fucking sexy . I wanted to just jump on top of him , oh and did I mention . Kentrell turned me into his little freak . He made me love sex .. he made me do thing's I'd never done before .. that's one reason I think it took me so long to let him go, I was not only addicted to him mentally, but also physically .
He had brought us back food . I smiled as he walked over to us , handing each of us a Popeyes bag. " Thanks Bae" Mercedes said before digging right in . Instead of saying thank you , I just stared at him biting my lips . I didn't even want to eat the food, I wanted to eat him .
" ya like what ya see?" He asked me , coming to sit in between me and Mercedes on the couch . I nodded my head looking him up and down . He chuckled lightly, " eat ya food, y'all can get some dick later." He said pulling out his phone .
I smacked my teeth and began to eat . " you ain't been talking to ya moms right?" Kentrell asked me looking up from his phone . I shook my head biting into my chicken sandwich . He mugged me before rolling his eyes .
" why da fuck ya lien? So you don't miss her at all, you ain't been wanting ta see ha?" He asked me , putting his phone down and snatching me up, making me drop all of my food . I looked over at Mercedes to see that she was looking down while eating , trying to ignore what was happening. I then knew that she couldn't save me , not this time.
" Kentrell I promise , I don't even talk ta ha no more.." I said to him . He then slapped the shit outta me . He got up from the couch going on a rant . He was saying shit like , " your so damn disrespectful, why you always doing this to me, you want me to hit you don't you?"
After he was done ranting, he looked at me in disgust. " I can't believe ya ass, go upstairs to da room, you gon get some dick alright." He said to me . " No Kentrell , you ain't finna talk to me like dat." I said to him . Right after I said it , I know I messed up .
That was my problem, I was the most disobedient out of me and Mercedes. Mercedes always let him run over her , unlike her , I stood up for myself sometimes . But every time I did , it never turned out well.
Kentrell walked back over to the couch , snatching me up . He threw me on the floor and got on top of me . He began to give me blows to the face . I began to feel dizzy . I felt like I was floating away . He kept going though , hit after hit after hit . I was sure he rearranged some of my facial appearance.
He then grabbed my hair , dragging me up the stairs and into the bedroom . I remember getting carpet burn that day , it was one of the worst .
" Strip" he said to me , waiting for me to get up from the floor , but I couldn't . He had just nearly beaten me to death , and he wanted to have sex?
" get da fuck up now, or I'll kill ya ass!" He said , his voice echoing off the walls , I was sure Mercedes could hear us from all the way downstairs. I slowly got up , and he grabbed me , pulling me into a tight hug .
" Im sorry , I just want fa you to be respectful, ya need to respect daddy . Now imma give you what you wanted when I first walked into that door." Kentrell said to me. I nodded my head as blood dripped from my lips , and onto my white Tee .
That day , was the day I knew I was fucked up . That was the day I realized that I wouldn't make it out of there alive , and if I did , I'd be mentally dead .
