flower petals ♧ na jaemin

{ 8 }

about a week has passed since we first saw jaemin with blue hair. this stupid hanahaki has gotten worse, but it's my own fault for not keeping a distance from jaemin.

the uneasy feeling in my throat was constantly there at this point, during class i have to cough into my bag. let me just say, you get a lot of weird looks emptying wilting flower petals into a garbage bag at the end of everyday.

seungmin and i sat in our english lecture hall waiting for the teacher who was late -again-.

my face was pale and my bag was situated on my lap just incase i'd start coughing again. seungmin had unfortunately caught on just recently. during study hall actually. he needed my notes from the previous class and i told them they were in my binder that was inside my bag.

i was a complete idiot and forgot about the wilting rose petals which he had seen. when seungmin saw them though, he didn't ask who but instead he told me that he's here for me which i appreciated.

my head was resting on the desk, i felt like ass and i wanted to go back home to busan and have my mom make me soup.

i could hear some girls who were not too far away from me gossiping. one thing caught my attention.

"did you guys hear about jaemins girlfriend?"
"i thought he was dating yoonhye?"
"are you kidding? she looks sicker than ever and her face is constantly in her bag. i bet you she has hanahaki"

the girls giggled and my head shot up. they really just guessed it like that. about 20 minutes have passed since the bell rang so i just got up and left. an overwhelming amount of sadness rushing over me.

i was sitting at a window sill, crying. the tears wouldn't stop streaming down my cheeks. i can't believe im this hurt from hearing a rumour.

i was looking out the window when i heard the familiar soft laugh. peeking away from the window i saw jaemin walking with chaerin, the prettiest girl in freshman year of university.

unlike others, she's actually extremely sweet and nice to others. whenever a guy would confess to her you could always see the sadness on her face when she had to reject him because she cannot return the feelings.

we used to be close during first semester but drifted because we didn't have any of the same classes for second semester.

a light blush was placed on jaemins cheeks and his smile was wider than any smile that i've caused for him.

my heart ached. of course he'd be with her, she's absolutely perfect in every way. i'm just ugly, useless and the simple 'best friend from high school'.

they slowly approached where i was and i hid my face in my hoodie so jaemin and chaerin wouldn't recognize me.

fortunately they didn't and kept on their way although i could hear jaemin pulling chaerin away when she tried to approach me, explaining how the person could possibly need time to themselves. tears pooled out even more. i didn't expect myself to feel this much pain but i guess it's what this disease does to you.

i guess you can throw trying to get him to love me back out the window.