Conditional - {Kylo Ren X Reader}

Chapter 10

Kylo had returned from his meeting with General Hux, and you weren't surprised when he was staunching through the doorway. You watched him as he took off his mask flinging it into the wall above his bed. His shoulders tight, body littered with rage as he ignited his lightsaber. You were frozen, in awe or fear you weren't sure. He attacked the wall closest to him, launching at it like it was prey. He swung it so vigorously making sparks fly around him, you heard him yell as he continued his temper tantrum. You imagined he was in visioning Hux's head as he destroyed what was left of the wall.

"Kylo," you said, he turned so quickly you squealed his eyes burning with rage. You kept his gaze as his shoulders loosened, you watched as his chest rose and fell with release. He sheathed his sabre and turned his back to you, his fists raised to his head as he began hitting himself. So aggressively but so calm you sensed he had done this before you. You slowly stood up from the chair and walked towards him raising your arm to touch his shoulder. You were so intimidated by him that you were certain you were going to be his next target of his anger. He tensed under your touch and quickly moved his body away from you. He turned his head, hair falling around his eyes as his look sent sheer fear through your body.

"Get away from me"

"No," you said reaching for him again. His hand slapped yours away as he turned and exited the room in an instant leaving you more confused than anything. His stomps echoing around his quarters.

You were sure you had stood still for hours before you moved. You searched the room unsure of how to react, Kylo's mask caught your eye and you wandered over to it. It wrested on the head of the bed, it was so large in size as you got closer. You reached out to it but something inside of you was screaming for you to stop, not to get any closer. But your stubbornness dominated it as you picked it up in your hands. You leaned it to the side as you examined it, it was covered in scrapes and scratches, a dint in the back you assumed from him throwing it at the wall. Your mind was still screaming at you as you faced it towards you, you brought it closer to your face hoping to get a better look. Your head spun as the mask began to blur in front of you, you squeezed your eyes shut hoping to stop the pounding in your mind. You flung your eyes open as bright lights appeared in your vision, you turned around and were faced with your parents.

"We are going to miss you so much," your mother said, hugging you as she whispered your name. Tears were streaming down her face as you smiled at her tensing your jaw, attempting to stop your own tears from spilling. When you faced your dad you hugged him straight away. And he kissed you on the forehead squeezing you tighter. He always gave the best hugs.

"You are going to do great things sweetie," he said, you couldn't help it his words made your tears spill as you stepped back

"I'll be back before you know it," you said smiling at them both

Your dad put his arm around you mum embracing her as they waved goodbye. You turned and walked towards your ship. The ground shook beneath you and the entire world went upside down as you were flung into bright lights again. This time you were on D'Qar, exiting your ship as you spotted Leia and a few other familiar faces walking towards you. Others running to tend to your ship, you looked miserable as you spoke to Leia explaining to her what happened to your parents, about how you wanted to make a difference in the galaxy by helping bring down the First Order. Leia embraced you as you began to cry, she placed her hand on the back of your head but this only made you cry more as you were reminded of the same feeling from your parents that Leia gave you.

In an instant the colours around you turned dark, a red mist seeping around you. You stumbled forward until you bumped into a stormtrooper, there were so many of them running around, alarms ringing in your ears. You looked around confused and spotted Kylo stumbling through the door to the hanger, you sprinted over to him but as you neared him you noticed a great red gash across his face. You gasped as you got closer, his eyes were burning with fear as he fell to the ground in front of you. You screamed and called out, begging someone to help. But no one was listening, something pushed you down onto the floor and you landed on your knees. You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt the cool floor on your hands, someone was speaking to you but it was so muffled it all sounded like noise. You turned to face them and you were met with Kylo's eyes, you realised you were back in his room.

You collapsed on the floor in front of him as you began to sob. The images from before circling your mind, how was that even possible, that had never happened before you thought. Kylo stood above you his face stern and void of expression as he glanced down at you. You knew he thought you were weak but right now you were too scared to care. You swore to yourself you would never touch his mask again, never ever. As you opened you began to calm down you looked up at him, the images of his face slashed apart and he collapsed on the floor in front of you flashing through your mind. You pressed your palms into your eyes trying to unsee it.

"What was that?" you asked him

"I'm not sure"

"I am never touching that thing again!" you said turning to his mask on the floor beside you. You shook your head as you wiped the tears from your face and stood up off the ground. You stumbled as you rose until you felt a hand grabbing your arm pulling you up. The touch so warm on your skin and so unexpected your breath hitched as you steadied on your feet. Kylo was watching you while he withdrew his arm, this small kindness sending bubbly feelings into your stomach.

"What happened with Hux?" you asked trying to change to subject

"Nothing, it was nothing," he said as he furrowed his brow

"Didn't look like nothing"

"If you are going to question things that aren't your business you can leave"

Your stomach dropped as you realised you had pushed too far. "Look, I'm sorry but if it had anything to do with me don't you think I should know"

You heard him huff, "Hux has requested you be returned to your cell. He disagrees with my methods although somethings he was more lenient to"

"Oh, like what?" you said quietly

"I'm leaving, I have asked Hux that you stay here while I'm gone. He has agreed but only if you keep to my quarters. There will be two guards posted at the entrance so don't try and escape."

"I guess that's better than being in the cell"

Kylo picked up his mask from the floor and raised his shoulders as he spoke, "This is nothing more than a cell for you anyway. I'm sure you will feel right at home," he placed his mask on as he walked out the door.

Something about his words hurt you. The care he showed before completely thrown away now. You had come to the conclusion that they were rare encounters. Though you neither disliked or liked them you thought to yourself. But you knew deep down there was something about him that drew you in. No matter how horrible he had been you kept letting little bits of him into your emotional shield, and with every kind action, it threatened to break entirely.